Gurumaa: People desire good clothes, good things, cars, etc., and sometimes they even question why the guru owns these things? “I too should get a chance to enjoy them!”
The reality is that we are not even aware that there are repressed desires deep within us. We don’t even know which desires we are harboring and when they will come up to the surface, overpower us, and even make us cast aspersions on the guru: ‘How come he is wearing good clothes, possessing good things, traveling in a Mercedes…etc.’
Only wisdom can show us the way out of the trap of desires that our mind creates; as such, not even experience can. If only the experience of sensual gratification could lead us out of it, the whole world would be wise. But it is only the wisdom to distinguish the perishable from the imperishable, and the discernment to understand that there is a pit into which we can fall if we don’t watch out, that can help us come out of the web spun by the ego.
It is not a bad thing to desire good clothes or good stuff, but to make it the means and not the end is harmful. The Birlas, Tatas, Ambanis, Donald Trump, Bill Gates: all have tons of money – they don’t just jet around the world, they own private jets. Yet, after having all this, do they possess the wisdom to realize that all these things are transient; are not meant to be pursued and multiplied, and in the end will not give them the true happiness they actually seek in this round-about way?
We do not have to judge only other people; we can be unbiased but critical of ourselves too. We need to just watch our mind and learn from our mistakes. If we are watchful, we can learn new things every moment – that is the only way to come out of the trap set by the mind. Every enlightened being has once stumbled, fallen and made mistakes, but also learnt that when and where you fall, know it to be just a fall – and get up again.
So I say that mind can be changed. The body has its limitations; we are built in a certain way and after a point we cannot really change that structure, but the mind can break the boundaries it has created and it can expand. Acceptance of limitations and boundaries is necessary to overcome them.
Observe the sky, the trees, the flowers, the grass… the colors, the fragrances all around, and rejoice that you can do so. Have you ever woken up in the morning with sheer joy: ‘Wow, I am actually alive! I can see, smell, hear, taste, touch….?’
What we see is not real; the world is not real…Everything seen is imperishable. ‘Conditions apply!’ Therefore be very vigilant and mindful all the time. Watch your mind.


Q. Why do we have desires, emotions and attachments? How can we detach our selves from them as they create so much of suffering?

Gurumaa: Desires and emotions are a part of being human. We have been blessed to feel emotions; the problem arises when we don’t know how to manage these emotions and when unnecessarily because of the ignorance we stumble upon our emotions and fall down.
You can’t blame nature for giving us emotions and should rather be thankful to it. From mother we experience unconditional affection; from father we get immense inspiration and support – both financial and emotional support; brothers & sisters and all other relatives play a very important role in shaping up your personality.
Whatsoever differences or problems may arise in our relationships but that doesn’t mean that emotions and attachments are bad. No, they are good. Even attachment is good.
It is only through attachment that one learns to cling and only the one who has learned to cling and enjoyed worldly affections can come out of it. Attachments are not meant to get stuck but to experience, enjoy and simply move beyond them.
Have you ever seen a dry leaf falling down from the tree? No one pulls the leaf; no one asks it to come down. Leaf is not making any conscious effort to fall down. But by just being with that branch one day it starts getting dried up. Leaf is attached to the branch but slowly the juice flowing in the leaf starts drying up, and gradually the color of leaf changes, and one day it simply falls down.
The family attachments and emotions are just like tree and leaf; we are like a leaf and family & society are like a tree. Till the time the juice of affections and emotions is flowing we are happy. But yes, whenever you are happy you should not forget the fact that you can’t continue to be happy always. Happiness comes after sadness.
The fun of meeting a friend is only when you meet him after a long separation. When two friends or two relatives sit together and live together for a long time, all fun and ecstasy just vanishes. So we need some separation to enjoy the meetings and we need some sadness too to enjoy the happiness. We need death to celebrate life.
Beauty of life is in its contradictions. Wise persons know how to live whereas unwise persons don’t know how to live and how to die. That is the reason of their pain and turmoil. See, with pencil you can write beautiful poetries, short stories, novels; you can write anything but with that pencil you can hurt yourself too. Have you ever seen a child who pokes the pencil in his nose, puts it in his ear, put it in his eyes and then cries? Child can also say that throw away all the pencils and pens from home. They are so dangerous why have you kept them at home.
But we always teach the child that it was his mistake to poke the pencil and there is no reason to throw away all the pens and pencils from home. Similarly there is no need to throw away all the emotions and attachments. Experience them but with open eyes. Know that every emotion and attachment has its own limitations.
Every life is followed by death, happiness is followed by sorrow and every meeting is followed by separation. So we should accept life in all its dualities. Problem is this that we want to remain on the bank only i.e. we don’t want separation, we don’t want death, we don’t want sadness and we don’t want misfortunes.
Whether you want something or not, problems are going to be there. Be easy and accept the life in its totality. When sadness comes be sad, when happiness comes enjoy, when death happens be very thoughtful, when birth happens rejoice. Rabindra Nath Tagore, on birth of any child used to say that God is still not angry with the humans and that’s the reason a new being has entered in our life.

At the outset, I ask you a simple question: Do you love yourself? If your answer is yes, then why do you live in stress? Why do you create turmoil and frustration for yourself? Most of the people will say, Oh no…I don’t create stress, but I get stressed because people hurt and torture me. The truth is that until and unless you are not ready to absorb the  negativity of other people you cannot be frustrated or unhappy. You become stressed only when you open doors of  our mind and take in negativities of others. This is how you end up being upset – if you don’t take in the negativities of  other people, then can anyone make you upset?

When someone gives you a gift, you have every right to say ‘No’ or you can accept the gift. And when someone is saying bad words to you, the other person can be your husband or wife, mother, father, child, neighbor or your boss is giving you harsh treatment, you can remain vigilant and not respond unconsciously; you can listen to it very attentively but refuse to take it in. But you live your life so impulsively that you never think about this. You just unconsciously grab whatever is said to you and end up in a miserable state.When you know who you are and how you do your duties, then why do you react to the situations in which the other person is unloading his anger on you. If that person is being unwise, you be wise at least.

You should take responsibility of your mind, and see what is beneficial or harmful to your mind. You need to keep a watch on what you will take in seriously or what you will simply ignore. If you are given poison, will you eat it? I give you a situation: Someone invites you for food, you go to their home, and you see a cockroach floating in the soup which you have been served. Now out of politeness, will you take that soup? The host is serving you with great love to eat but you can see that there is a cockroach in your soup, will you take that? You are not crazy, you are not mad, you will point it out to your host about the is-happening.

But when odd situations arise in your relationships, you don’t use your judgment well. You can’t be honest in your dealings – in the hope of golden future you endure so much humiliation, pain, insults. You not only take it but you chew on your ugly situations. You talk about it again and again with your relatives, friends and sometimes even to casual acquaintances. You wash your dirty linen in front of all. I have observed, people find a very narcissistic pleasure out of their sad stories. If one narrates his story then soon another person will follow to talk about his agony and will magnify it more than what actually would have happened in reality. What is the cockroach in soup of your relationships – it is ‘Expectations’, the hopes you have from others, or others have from you; this cockroach is indeed spoiling the broth of your life.

One more factor which is responsible for your stress is that you are absorbing everything in your head, as you have a humongous list of likes and dislikes. This list of yours makes you biased and you judge people, things as per your preferences. You create an idea about anything and everything in your head and then you act according to that condition. You see world from these spectacles and so does other person. On the top of that, you passively take every comment, observation and remark very seriously. Other person might have said something in lighter mood but you are never lighter – you are always loaded with your perceptions hence confusion and discord is the result.

Only if you use the power of discrimination and think twice before taking any thought seriously, it would save you from unnecessary stress. If only  you be vigilant towards which thoughts you are going to save in your brain and which thoughts you would simply brush off – you would not create stress for yourself and maybe you wouldn’t give stress to someone else too. Do not accept every thought – use your intellect more.

In your day-to-day life too you have to use the power of discrimination – what you are going to consume and what you are going to reject; even whom you are going to interact with, etc. Even if you do not want to be with any particular individual, who is a walking tower of negativity, you can always use your intellect and secure yourself. You should save yourself from any kind of onslaught.

Stress is carcinogenic. It kills your body cells and infects your immune system. You may think, ‘well, I don’t have much stress – it is a small issue’ but be aware that poison even in small amount is enough to end your life. Do not say that you have little stress. Even this little stress can be equivalent to little poison; the only difference is that this poison of stress will kill you slowly.

Chanting is one of the most wonderful ways to live a stress-free life. A research study was done in Australia on the benefits of chanting Om. I would like to share the results of that study. When Om mantra is chanted in a correct way, it has a direct effect on the pineal gland. It is one of the most important glands in the brain from where vital hormones are secreted. What are hormones? Hormones are the chemicals which have neurotransmitters to run your body system perfectly. The pineal gland with pituitary and hypothalamus takes care of all your major systems in the body like musculoskeletal, circulatory, digestive, eliminatory, cardiovascular, etc. Brain is the computer of body, and there is such a complex lymphatic and glandular system which is running human body so perfectly. But this computer comes with a hazard that it can get corrupted.

When you chant Om, it has profound effect on the pineal gland. It means if you do it correctly, soon you will experience the changes. When you are in deep sleep all these glands are working and various chemicals are secreted by glands like thyroxin, melatonin and serotonin. When you worry for a long time, this system gets corrupted soon. More stress means glands will not secrete chemicals as it is needed. Because of continuous stress your sleep gets affected, and when you can’t sleep properly, then further hormonal system malfunctions. The Australian research said that if you chant Om regularly, your glandular system would start functioning normally. You will assimilate the power of the mantra, and this power will improve your health and calm your mind.

You may do a small practical now. Sit straight. Spine should be erect. Sit in a comfortable pose / asana, making sure you have a solid base. No movements of your shoulders, arms, fingers, toes, head – nothing should move. Stop every movement – sit like a statue. Keep your body immobile. Slowly close your eyes but do not close them too tight.

Stop all movements of the body. Take a deep breath through your nose and gently let it go out through your nose. It is very unhealthy to breathe through your mouth, so breathe through your nose. Fill the lungs with air – take deep breaths in and out. Try to inhale slowly, and gently let your breath become silken breath – devoid of any jerk. Feel the body movements – when the breath goes in you will feel the stomach expanding, and when you exhale your stomach will move in and rib cage lowers to the normal position. Be observant and see the changes attentively. By taking deeper breaths are giving your body and mind a rest; this is the best technique to keep the body healthy and to keep it free from diseases.

Step two is to take a deep breath, inhale deeply and while exhaling chant slowly Om….Om…Om…Om….Om…Om…Om….Feel the vibrations which are happening in your throat region and listen to the sound you are creating by chanting Om. Do it for ten minutes.

Now don’t use the word Om, but just a sound similar to a bee – hmmm…hmmm…hmmm. Do it in the mind. You can hum without saying the word Om but do not forget to inhale deep. Be focused on your breath, the sound, and while exhaling chant hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. After a while, chant the ‘Om’ mantra mentally, breathing deep, let the chanting resound in your mind.

Now be silent.

Let your mind be absorbed in this mantra chanting – in vibrations of the divine word. When it is done with the right method and aptitude, it produces mind-boggling results. But you have to do it every day. You cannot derive its great effects, if you don’t do it correctly and regularly.

These days laparoscopic laser surgery is done to remove kidney stones. Do you know why stones are formed- the reason is when oxygen doesn’t reach properly in the abdomen area and when there is lesser energy, calcium begins to deposit in that area and stones are formed. In laparoscopic surgery, they use sound waves to crush the stone and crumbled particles pass out through urine. If the sound waves have the power to crush the stone, then imagine the enormous changes these sound vibrations produced by chanting can bring in the body and brain.
If anyone has thyroid problem then they should do the Gunjan of Om. For Gunjan, plug your ears with thumbs and do chanting of ‘Om’. Gently plug the ear with your thumbs and gently chant Om. It will have a direct effect on your thyroid gland, and it will soon begin to function normally. So chanting Om is going to give you so much benefit – physically and emotionally.

So begin your day with the mantra and end the day with it. Wherever and whenever it is possible, do your chant – on the way to work, sitting in train, car – you can use your time in a much more creative way. Silently chant Om.

Do your Om chanting and stop worrying as worrying isn’t going to change anything. Rather it will take your health away. Keep your mind cool, live your life with grace and know that the law of karma is working – so be good and do good. If still some challenges and difficult situations arise, handle them wisely. Soon you will be beaming like a sun. Don’t believe my words, try for yourself.
Tat Sat Om

Jal Neti is a Yogic technique, which cures all diseases related to eyes, nose, throat and brain. The nose is the “air conditioner” of the body. One of the many functions of the nose is to regulate the temperature and humidity of the incoming air. Some people have “dry noses” and suffer dry, crusty, nosebleed type problems. Others have “wet noses”, with the constantly running sinuses and the tissues always up their sleeve! Others have perpetual stuffy and blocked nostrils. Regular practice of Jala Neti helps to establish the correct working environment of temperature and humidity in the nose. So, it’s wise to consider shedding your apprehension and trying this wonderful practice. As it happened with one person who came to me with complaints of blocked nose and frequent headaches I suggested Jal Neti, which was taught here in ashram and soon her aches and stuffed nose became a history. When one can relieve oneself from sinus related problems with as simple as nasal irrigation as it is being called in west, one doesn’t need pain killers and anti-allergic medicines. This technique has worked like miracle for scores of other people who have benefited from Jal Neti. Jal Neti is a process of cleansing the nasal path. The aim of the process is to purify the breathing path right from the nostrils to the throat. Besides being used to treat full-blown sinus infections, Jal Neti is perhaps the BEST preventive measure. Almost all of us can “sense” when we are about to catch a cold or an impending throat infection. But more frustrating is the “helplessness” or the inability to do anything about it as it takes over our defenses. It is here that Jal Neti really outscores everything else. Just flushing your ENT passages through neti a couple of times a day ensures that the infection does not take root and just passes by. The skin in the nasal path gets used to the osmotic pressure. Also, the organs get used to the different temperatures and can continue working without any disturbance. Well, to put it simply, Jala Neti is a cleansing practice of the sinus passages with warm saline water. Yogis have practiced it for centuries for its innumerable and powerful benefits. In yoga, it has been used for its extremely powerful physical, psychological and spiritual benefits. However, in the modern world – fed on an attitude of immediate gains – Jal Neti has gained immense popularity because of its dramatic effect on the sinuses.

Benefits:

1). Jal Neti helps solve the sinus infection and allergy problems without the use of drugs with immediate, immense and sustained results any without any side effects.

2). At the immediate level, Jal Neti is a great tool for any kind of respiratory disorder – sinusitis, allergy, asthma, hay fever to name a few. People invariably notice an immediate relief, which drugs fail to achieve. It helps to re-program the body’s natural mechanisms against respiratory complaints including sore throats, coughs, post-nasal drips etc.

3). Jal Neti rinses out the dirt and bacteria filled mucous lining as the warm water loosens and dissolves any internal build-ups, and takes them outwards. Due to gravity and a venture-effect, the sinus passages are also drained by the vacuum pressure flow of the water. Whereas it would normally be impossible to drain a “dead end” cavity like the sinuses, Jal Neti achieves this ingeniously and simply.

4). It can be of great benefit to problems associated with the eyes and ears such as certain types of deafness and myopia. But the great mental and spiritual effects overshadow these tremendous physical benefits.

5). Jal Neti has a cooling and soothing effect on the brain and is therefore beneficial for headaches, migraine, depression, mental tensions and even epilepsy, hysteria and temper tantrums. It stimulates better powers of visualization and concentration and gives a feeling of lightness and clarity to the mind.

6). On a higher plane, it is very effective for meditation as it works on the subtle effects of the olfactory bulb, and the psychic center, which is known as the Agya Chakra in yoga.

7). But the best part is that it is excellent for those trying to give up smoking. It reduces mouth breathing and re-sensitizes the nose to the indecency and discomfort of ingesting smoke, therefore de-programming the brain of the physical and psychological addiction.

How to do it?

Put warm water into the utensil and add a little salt in it. Tilt the neck and touch the tip of spout to one of the nostrils. Open the mouth and continue breathing through it. Gradually pour water into the nostril. Since the breathing is continued through the mouth, the water straightaway goes through the food pipe into the throat to the stomach. Just as we drink water through the mouth, in the same way it can be drunk through the nose. When some water is drunk though one nostril, perform the process with the other one. This process is not Neti, but when one is accustomed to drinking water through nose, then practicing Neti is easier. During Jal Neti, the position of the head and pot are adjusted to allow the water to flow out of the other nostril. To help water flow out of the other nostril, tilt the neck further. It is essential to find the pose of the neck here. When the pose is found, the rest of the process is easier. The water poured through one nostril can easily come out of the other. The breathing is naturally through the mouth at this time. Pour water into the left nostril and take it out of the right, then drink it by the right one and take it out of the left. If you have a 1/2 Liter vessel, then you can fill the vessel again for the second nostril. The stream of water from both the nostrils will not be same depending on the blockade or nervous spasms. Do the whole exercise gently and in relaxed posture. One can wipe the nostrils with clean linen/towel in between while changing the nostrils. Having finished with the water part just keep both arms at back and start blowing nose vigorously from alternate nostril (15-20 times) in order to remove every drop of water. Now look up for 15 seconds and while looking up again blow 10-15 times to blow off any residual water left. Go in Shashankasana and  stay in it for five minutes, again blow out at least twenty times from each nostril. Repeat whole procedure for minimum three times. Make sure that there is no water left. To check this blow it at back of your palm and see if there are any droplets of water or not. Nose should be thoroughly dried else it can induce headache. Having finished with the blowing part now go to your exercise room or in open space, lie down in Savasana (corpse position) for 10 minutes. Some of yogis insist on putting few drops of ghee in nostrils to lubricate nasal passage. For one nostril, generally half a liter of water is to be used. The water should be used at a stretch or with some rests. One should not include it in daily lifestyle. Whenever, the nasal path needs cleaning, the process can be used.

You can practice Jal Neti in the morning or in the evening and continue for about a month and review your health. If you start feeling better then you can do this exercise as and when required. Caution: When doing it, never use your nose for breathing. Bhastrika Pranayama is a must after Jal Neti. To do this bow a little forward and move the neck right, and left; up and down, and then do Bhastrika, so that the nose becomes clean and dry. No trace of water should be allowed to remain inside the nostrils. After you have mastered this technique completely, you can practice drinking water or milk through the nose.

Drinking of milk or water through the nose has specific advantages. It cures all brain ailments and sharpens the Intellect. The ailments of eyes, ears, nose and throat are cured and sleeplessness is removed. It also improves the eyesight.

To meditate in the right way a positive attitude is required; equally important is the physical posture. It is nearly impossible in a normal situation, to sleep in shirshasana, the head-stand posture. But it is pretty easy to doze off while lying down or even while sitting. Thus, when the body is in a comfortable position, sleep comes naturally. But in the standing position it is quite difficult to fall asleep. For meditation the right posture is a definite pre-requisite.

When one learns the art of meditation, then one truly understands the art of distancing oneself from the rumblings of the mind

If the spine is not erect but curved, the gravitational pull of the earth has a greater effect on the body – you feel like relaxing and there is an inclination to lie down. All through the day our arms are by our sides in a vertical position, so they do not hurt or pain. But if we are asked to hold our arms straight in front of the body in a horizontal position, it will be a punishment. Why is it so? Because in the horizontal position the area acted upon by gravity increases; in the vertical position the area acted upon by the earth’s gravitational pull is lesser as our arms span a smaller area.
In exactly the same manner, if we sit straight then the area of gravitational pull decreases and it becomes easier to be alert. Body posture also includes the positioning of our hands. The hands should be placed in the lap – one above the other – with the palms facing upwards. Or they should be in the gyaan mudra with the tip of the thumb and first finger joined.
When we meditate, vibrations and auras arise in the body; to contain them the hands should be positioned in the right manner so that energy does not flow out to the earth but remains in the body. This bio-plasmic energy travels; we have to ensure its smooth passage so that we get all the advantage and benefit of the rising energy. Once this energy is experienced in its full force, then you can definitely share it with others: human beings, the earth, air, water and animals.
The posture of the body is very important for proper meditation. In the Gita Sri Krishna says:

With the senses withdrawn from all objects
Spine kept erect and contemplating at the middle of the brows
Concentrate on balanced in and out going breath
Such a person is called a conqueror

Let me explain this in detail. Sri Krishna says that first and foremost a person should take leave of the sensory world for a while and let the sense organs rest. If the eyes yearn to see the world and the tongue to taste – in short, if you are seeking pleasure in smells, tastes, sights and fragrances, if you are engrossed in a futile search for material joys, how will you be motivated to strive for meditation? At least momentarily, for the time being, the senses have to be turned inwards and the spine has to be kept erect at a ninety-degree angle.
Sri Krishna says that all attention has to be brought to the centre of the eyebrows – an area which is also called the ‘third eye’ or Shiva netra. You should then focus on the breath which should be balanced. He says that a person who is able to do so will conquer the senses. Such a person is yatindriya – one whose senses are tamed and whose mind rests in peace and does not wander in search of joy; a person who has attained the right balance in life. Yatindriya is not a person who denies his senses or lives a repressed life, but a person who experiences immense joy from within. He is a person who is free of all slavery and bondage.
By constantly practicing sadhana and dhyana, the urge to seek the Lord’s blissful form can be awakened in the heart
Man is enslaved to woman and woman to man as both are dependent on each other for sexual gratification. But a person who attains inner bliss will communicate at a different level; there can be friendship and understanding, but there is no exploitation in the garb of social relationships.
Man is not the master of his life as he proclaims himself to be – in actuality it is material objects which rule man. I remember a Sufi story:
Once, Sheikh Farid was walking in the outskirts of his village with his followers. They saw a farmer taking his cow for a walk. Farid asked his followers, “Who is the master, the cow or the farmer?” The followers replied, “Definitely it is the farmer, sir.” Baba again asked, “If someone hits the cow and the cow runs, who will follow whom?” All the followers started thinking. Farid went and hushed the cow; it started running towards the fields and the farmer ran after the cow cursing Farid for playing such a prank on him.
Then Farid spoke: “It looked as though man was the master of the beast. But the animal is least bothered about ownership, and in a way it is the cow that is being followed by the man and not the man being followed by the cow.”
Such is the pathetic state of our mind that we have enslaved ourselves to objects, to money, to status and to prestige. But Sri Krishna says that man can become the master of his own world; a human being can become yatindriya by following the rules given by him for meditation. One has to learn to get rid of the shackles; all chains and all bondages are to be broken. Then for the first time in your life you will be able to breathe freely. In another shloka Sri Krishna says: “Anger and tension take leave of such a person and he is satiated once and for all.” For those who taste the nectar of spiritual wisdom, this becomes an experience and does not remain a scholarly discourse.
As I have mentioned earlier, in ancient times two stones were rubbed together to generate sparks to light a fire for a yagna. Similarly, by constantly practicing sadhana and dhyana, the urge to seek the Lord’s blissful form can be awakened in the heart.
You have probably heard innumerable discourses on dhyana and yet you have not been successful in understanding their essence. Why? It is because you lack the practical experience of meditation. Many may have a mantra which they repeat mechanically while telling the beads of a rosary. But have you achieved single-minded concentration? Or is meditation a mere formality, a chore that must be performed to satisfy the conscience?
Knowledge is established firmly only by experience and not when it is based on hearsay. For instance, there is a general superstition that prevails about solar eclipses. People confine themselves to the four walls of their homes with the curtains drawn, so that even the rays of the sun do not enter and harm them. The period of the eclipse is considered very inauspicious, but a student of science knows that there isn’t an iota of truth in this blind superstition. When a solar eclipse occurred recently, crowds collected at places like Neem Ka Thana, Bharatpur and Calcutta, to observe the phenomena through special dark glasses. Slowly awareness and understanding has grown in the general populace that it is the shadow of the moon that falls on the sun and partially veils it.

Tulsidas says in a verse:

Until I see it with my own eyes
I will not believe the words of my dearest guru

Without seeing with my own eyes, how am I to have faith in my guru’s words? Not that Tulsidas was an atheist or a non-believer, rather he was a devotee – a bhakt of Sri Rama. Although a truly conservative person, even he says that his belief can not be based on mere words. Without experiencing something for himself, he could not accept it for what it was. We value our shastras, our ancient textures, the Gurbani and the Gita, but why not experience the message contained in them and know the truth for ourselves? I call upon all who want to tread this path; belief in the scriptures is not essential.
You are aware that the mind is always on the move, never still for even a moment. It is like a mad monkey that jumps restlessly from one branch to another. So what then is meditation? It is taking the mind to a state where the thoughts are stilled and emptiness prevails. But how does that benefit us? Normally the mind is in a state of turmoil, filled with anger, jealousy, worry, hatred and ill-will. It is continually pulled in different directions resulting in constant restlessness. An unhealthy mind with polluted thoughts invariably leaves its mark on the physical health; stress and pressures of the mind lead to a disease-prone body.
The economically weak class spends most of its waking hours engaged in strenuous labour, thereby having no spare time for unnecessary and unwarranted thoughts. Where diseases like blood pressure and cardiac ailments were once common amongst the well-to-do sections of society, today materialism has entered the fabric of our society to such an extent that every man from a rickshaw puller to an owner of a posh car is in a rat race, thus facing immense stress and suffering from stress-related diseases. Mammon is worshipped openly; money is the new god!
Exhibitionism, possessiveness, attachment and thrill seeking have become the common hobby of this generation. Instant gratification is desired; this generation that belongs to the times of instant noodles and instant coffee can’t wait to experience happiness in the future; they want everything now – be it fame, health, wealth or celebrity status. The hunger for titillation is so strong that morals, ethics and religion have been left to stagnate.
It is only when serious damage is done that people wake up from this blindness. No one is ready to listen; everyone wants to acquire wisdom, but perhaps the harder way and not like you, sitting comfortably in your seats and listening to the words of wisdom. I wonder: Are you really listening even now?
Psychosomatic diseases are spreading like bush fire. People can’t sleep well; all six systems of the human body do not work properly. Have you ever felt real hunger? Today people feel like eating when they watch food commercials or see billboards of food advertisements. They get hungry when they see advertisements of burgers and pizzas on the television – a false hunger takes over and they call for home delivery. When you eat because of false hunger, how will your stomach digest the food? It will simply rot in your intestines and will lead to various diseases. And when stomach ailments affect you, then you need medicines for indigestion, constipation, ulcer and acidity! When a sedentary life style complements a high stress job, insomnia is the result! And sales of sedatives rise!
Today’s is a cola, coffee, fast food generation. The result is: rash, brash and trash – diseases of mind and body; no deep sleep – often no sleep at all – no real hunger and no real happiness.

Normally the mind is in a state of turmoil, filled with anger, jealousy, worry, hatred and ill-will – leading to disease-prone body.
In meditation, mind moves to a state where the thoughts are stilled and emptiness prevails

Therefore meditation is extremely vital to maintain physical and mental health. Recently a conference was held in the US entitled ‘Medicine of Tomorrow’. Leading cardiologists from Germany, Japan, Canada and America participated in it. I too attended the conference and elaborated on the fact that for a healthy heart, medicine in the form of meditation is a must. Today the medical fraternity completely agrees with the observation that the rise in incidence of cardio-vascular disease is due to unhealthy lifestyles and high levels of stress. Some doctors are themselves victims of these diseases.
Prevention is better than cure. Why not pay attention to this often repeated dictum? Rather than visiting doctors and incurring heavy hospital bills and unwanted worries, take charge of your life and bring a wise discipline into it. Eat right, sleep right, meditate right.
Once a man was admitted to a nursing home after a severe heart attack. A week later when he was discharged, the doctor cautioned the family members against anything that would upset him or cause any sort of excitement as his heart was weak and would not tolerate the stress. Hearing this the patient promptly turned to the doctor, “Sir, then I sincerely request you to refrain from presenting me with the hospital bill as my poor heart will be unable to bear it.”
Keep your heart healthy. The scriptures say that god is in your heart – do not defile it with vices and ill will. Let it be pure.

Sri Krishna says:

O Arjuna! Though I am omnipresent
If you wish to find me, I am always dwelling in your heart!

If you wish to see the Almighty, turn inwards for He is to be found in the depths of your heart. He who resides within should be sought within. The source of ‘I’ is God who is present where you are. What you need to do is to go back deep into the source of your roots.
Meditation is the process of plumbing deep within; it helps us to unburden the mind. The mind becomes free of thought and thus we are able to feel the Lord with heightened perception. One who meditates takes care to follow the master in spirit; in the process of meditation he remains extremely vigilant and alert. One who is on the path of peace cannot be careless, lax or ignorant.
A mind which is a compulsive thinker suffers and spreads suffering to others too. Therefore, for your own benefit and for the benefit of those around, we need to learn the art of mediation, which in other words is the art of managing the mind.

Let us try to understand this in another way. If you are given the choice of running or walking to a particular destination, which would you choose? Obviously walking will be the preferred choice as it involves lesser strain. Then again, between walking and standing the choice would be to stand as it involves still lesser physical strain. Similarly, between standing and sitting it is obvious that sitting would be an easier choice. Between sitting and lying down one would prefer the latter, and if the choice is between just lying down and sleeping one would opt for sleep. And now the last question: Would you prefer sleep or death? Shouldn’t death be more relaxing, more peaceful than sleep? Isn’t it so? But you will mess up your death as you have messed up your life. What does all this teach you? You must understand that happiness increases with decreased activity of the mind!
Happiness increases with decreased activity of the mind!
The lesser the activity of the mind the more integrated and calm it becomes. Just as the body needs time to sleep and relax, the mind too needs time to rest and relax. Although sleep is designed by nature to provide us mental rest, we human beings have polluted our sleep with more of dreams and less of deep sleep; the time of restful sleep has decreased considerably. In an effort to sleep, people toss and turn in bed and as a result they wake up tired. If you cannot sleep deeply, you will lose your sanity within days. Sleep provides natural respite from the constant chain of thoughts; had there been no sleep, the entire human race would have gone mad!
When a person is asleep, the mind is seeped in the slumber of unconsciousness and so you do not really enjoy being asleep. Sleep provides some relief from the madness of the mind. Have you ever wondered why an alcoholic cannot stop drinking, knowing well enough that it is destroying his health and family life? The reason is that the mental relief he gets in drunkard-ness is so alluring that he is deaf to all counseling and advice. Human beings can’t really be pulled away from intoxicants unless and until they learn to experience a state of mind where one is conscious and yet not disturbed because of the mind; when one knows how to manage one’s emotions and feelings with detachment. This can be learnt only through meditation.
When one learns the art of meditation, then one truly understands the art of distancing oneself from the rumblings of the mind. As the mind becomes empty and non-productive, stressful thoughts vanish and the mind becomes determined and focused. It is then our best aide in helping with external interactions and it stops being a nuisance. As awareness grows, a quietude envelopes the mind and calmness simply oozes from every pore of one’s being. Serenity pervades your being and a singular joy is felt deep within.

When this question was asked to an assembly of girls gathered to listen to Her Holiness Anandmurti Gurumaa, in the auditorium of Vivekananda College for girls, there was a mixed response with a few not knowing what to say. So to make them think, Gurumaa said, “When you are asked a question, you should have the courage to answer or else you will become vulnerable to injustice.” Inspired by this, many spoke up. Thus began the talk…

Well, you should never feel good about being called a devi, because then you are not considered even a human being. Your right to be a human being is taken away from you in the name of devi. Just think! What are the expectations from a devi: You should be a giver; you should sacrifice; you should not speak even when faced with injustice, and everything else that can be termed as exploitation. Such is the upbringing of every girl in India! She is conditioned to see herself as weaker than men and to succumb to this male-dominated society. So don’t feel happy to be called a devi; ask for your human rights and avail of them.
I wish to ask you all: Why do you come to college? What is your purpose? Does it only give you the freedom to step out of the four-walls of your house, or are you interested in learning and educating yourself? I congratulate all those who are sincere in their studies, but I also know that there are many who come to college to have a good-time and gossip about their favorite topics like fashion, romance etc. Life is more than fashion and romance. Don’t just be beautiful, but also be intellectually evolved.
And do not under-estimate the importance of education in life, especially for girls. I travel around the world and get to meet several women. I have heard stories of women who are facing adversities in their life just because they are not educated, and hence they end up being dependent on men who then take undue advantage of them.

Girls should learn martial arts to develop the physical ability to protect themselves
In India it is a normal practice to marry off a girl at the very young age of 20-25yrs. And it is also seen that girls just drop their education mid-way, as soon as they get married; marriage is seen as the only purpose of educating girls! But what is the guarantee that your husband will always be there with you? What if he dies before you? Have you ever thought what will happen to you then? And do you have any idea of the life of a widow? The treatment meted out to widows in India is very biased. They are considered a curse and are not even allowed to socialize; a widow ends up being a victim of society.
It is society which has laid down the ‘dos and don’ts’ for girls during menstruation. Even today in twenty-first century India, many conservative gurus and pundits propagate such idiosyncrasies as a woman being impure during her periods. The height of superstition in India is that women are told not to touch pickles during their periods as the pickle will spoil!
A woman is not allowed to enter temples, to worship god, to touch or eat pickle – the list is endless. To break through this myth, I asked two lady scientists to conduct a research on menstruating women. They not only made six hundred menstruating women from different parts of the country touch pickles for three months, but also made them prepare pickles. The pickles were sealed and kept under observation. Not a single jar of pickle went bad!
Menstruation is a sign of a girl’s fertility; if the girl doesn’t menstruate, then she will never become a mother. This is the system Nature has given to a woman. How can a system given by Nature be impure? Due to her periods, she is able to become a mother and can give birth to a child and bring a new life into the world.
I don’t want you to become victims; I want you all to evolve and secure yourselves physically, mentally and financially. You should learn martial arts to develop the physical ability to protect yourself. Why do you need to depend on any male to save you from any difficult circumstance? Empower yourself and equip yourself such that you become your own protector. You should learn meditation to explore your inherent potential and to be in a state of peace and calm. Empower…Educate…Evolve!
When a boy is educated, an individual is educated; when a girl is educated, the whole generation is educated as she will further educate the children and girls in her family. Yet girls are given discriminatory treatment by their own parents!
Meditation is one of the most important tools in learning. Students often complain about forgetting their studies and not being able to retain for long what they have learnt. The major reason for this is that your mind isn’t integrated. It has too many thoughts regarding several issues in your life. When you study, you not only study but think about so many other things at the same time. To sharpen your memory, you should learn the techniques of Tratak and Yog Nidra. Tratak is an ancient technique which helps to improve concentration and integrates the mind. Yog Nidra is also an ancient technique devised and used by our sages, to activate the dormant areas of the human body and mind. Albert Einstein, the famous scientist is supposed to have used just 8% of his brain’s capacity! This indicates the extent of the capabilities of the human brain. Both the techniques are power-tools to unleash your potential to its optimum.
Swami Vivekananda is often cited for his remarkable intelligence and memory. In one instance, when the loan of a book from a scientist’s library was refused to him, he asked for permission to read it there and then. This instance is amazing in that he not only read the complete book in just three hours, but also understood and shared his understanding with the scientist! The secret of his prodigious memory is Yog Nidra.
In Yog Nidra one is required to move consciousness to different parts of the body, followed by a reverse counting of breaths and then to resolve – resolve is very important as whatever you resolve at that time in Yog Nidra will definitely become a reality. So always make a creative and constructive resolve to make your life beautiful. Regular practice of this technique can awaken the power of intuition and many other dormant capabilities.
A woman is a creator; she is blessed with the ability to give birth. No man can ever match this ability because he doesn’t have a womb to give birth. In an attempt to become creators, men strive to paint, climb mountains and engage in other such activities.
It is sad that the creator of life is killed and not given a chance to be born. I am talking about female foeticide and infanticide. The sharp decline in the number of girls per thousand boys indicates that many people resort to such cruel practices. You should be thankful to your parents for they didn’t kill you in the womb, and for giving you an opportunity to acquire knowledge. If you come across any woman who is going in for a sex determination test with the intention of resorting to foeticide, just make her aware of the cruelty of her act, and save the life of the child to be.

Who is a Guru, what is Guru’s strength, what is Guru’s power? Is it because he is sitting on a bigger chair – Can anyone who sits on that chair becomes a Guru? If that is so then I will get up and leave this seat and sit somewhere else. I can leave this couch and sit comfortably anywhere in the hall. Any one from the audience can sit here – will this seat make you a Guru? It is not even the color of robe or style of clothes, which makes Guru – a Guru. Is the one who wears ochre colored robe a Guru? If so, tomorrow I will wear pink, day after that I will wear purple or something flashy to dazzle you. Guru’s attributes are not in the clothes. Guru’s wisdom is the secret of being a Guru. Now I am wearing a long tilak on my forehead, tomorrow I will not wear it, would it change my status of being a Guru? Who is Guru – one who speaks Sanskrit language, which you will not understand? Guru is not even the one who can lecture you or narrate you stories.
Guru is Guru because of the wisdom, experience, and state of consciousness. So if you have to follow Guru then follow Guru’s sadhana. Do it as Guru did sadhana with dedication, sincerity, and intensity. Be dependent on your experience and not on the words spoken by the master. Master’s words can be a map, but you have to travel with the aid of map. Don’t sit with the map – walk with the map.
Guru is your friend, guide and motivator; don’t turn Guru into a crutch. Guru is the powerhouse. Who is a Guru? The one who has the wisdom, vision, experience and the power of discrimination. Guru is the one who has awakened, who has evolved. Once upon a time even Guru was as foolish as you are now and did same mistakes. Anyone who is wise today was a fool once upon a time, and then the fool grew up and became wise.
Who is a Guru? The one who has learned from his or her mistakes – who has the life experience and learned from it and matured.

Who is a fool? The one who will never learn – neither from his mistakes nor by listening to the discourses or by reading great books. A fool will always be a fool. If you import a donkey to U.S.A, he will still remain a donkey. India very recently has sent a satellite named ‘Chandrayaan’ in space; say if you send a donkey in the rocket, will he become a man? It will still remain a donkey. This is the bitter truth: a fool will remain a fool – well most of the time.
The Guru is not ashamed of his past foolishness. Guru knows that the entire journey has made him mature. When Guru sees his disciples, he sees his own reflection in them. Guru can also see the future of present fools, and knows that one day the fools will become a gyani – wise. In Sanyas tradition, Anand is added to the name of a sanyaasi, like Akhanadanand, Satyanand, Anubhutanand, so even a ‘moorh’ (fool) in Hindi language is called Murkhaanand. Respect is must and it should be given to all, whatever the status might be. To call fool, a fool is disgrace. One day in the life of a fool, a Satguru comes and slowly transformation happens. Negativities like greed, selfishness, anger and lust persist in him but with Guru’s guidance and with the fire of sadhana slowly one after another all negativities are removed.
So there is a hope for every fool; one day he too can become wise. But first a fool has to know that he is a fool – this is the first step in the direction of becoming wise. Once this first step is taken then the journey of fool begins. So your real search can begin only when you know that your present condition is not good – you realize that you have to do something about it. Most of the people are living as if they have no senses or intellect. They are happy in their self-inflicted miseries; they don’t know that life can be lived in a much better way. I do not want your life to be filled with sorrow, pain, and misery.

Who is a Guru?
The one who has the wisdom, vision, experience and

the power of discrimination
It is part of Guru’s responsibility to help the disciple to become emotionally and spiritually strong but Guru alone cannot do this. Kabir has sung glory of master in lofty words. But at times people misunderstand it. Now and then, there are going to be ups & down – turmoil in life. Unintentionally, people depend on the Guru as a person and not on the teachings.
Kabir’s verses explain how to behave with a Guru. Kabir gave a beautiful name to Guru, it is ‘Sahib’ – meaning my Lord.  Guru is seen as a form of God. Many Sufi masters have said that we have not seen God with our eyes but after seeing Guru we know God does exist, otherwise how can a mortal being be such luminous, pious and compassionate.
What does Guru give? Maybe in the beginning it will be just a mantra. Mantra is not just plain set of words. They are sound waves, which have very specific effect on human brain. Every sound has an effect on body and our ancient masters used mantras to create much needed changes in seeker’s brain. Brain is the place where the most important glands are working, namely – pituitary and pineal gland, which are further related with hypothalamus. Mantra is a sound wave which has a great effect on these organs. For spiritual practice one needs concentration, equanimity, focus, de-fogged mind and with mantra recitation practitioner creates such waves which are slowly going to bring these desired elements in mind.
Initially, the Guru gives the mantra and one should practice the mantra sincerely. Mantra works like a bridge in between Guru and disciple. It connects both – the Guru and the disciple. When Guru gives the mantra to disciple, it is not only mantra which is given but also powerful energy gets transported. Chanting mantra regularly can give lot of strength to your body, and it unclutters the mind so that intellect can be made pristine and clear.
Shishya, the disciple, benefits from love and compassion of Guru. We need Guru hence we seek Guru, not vice versa. Our scriptures have been written by those individuals who themselves had gained everything from their respective Gurus, thus it goes without saying that to excel in this life one definitely needs guidance from the master.
Seek master with understanding, love and surrender. But do not ever think that once you have found Guru it is solely the duty of Guru to give you Samadhi – the total absorption state; disciple has to work hard with the Guru to match his steps – step by step.
Seek Guru’s guidance but don’t be dependent on the Guru, as it can be a dangerous affair – as any such bondage is a hurdle in this path. By being dependent, you turn your Guru into another angle of emotional dependency. If you follow the guidance of the Guru meticulously then Guru’s blessings will shower on you – that too without asking. And if you become dependent on your Guru then you have turned your Guru into a crutch. The seed of emotional dependency is rooted deep in the human nature – first it is on mother, father, and then it is wife and children. You depend on your money, prestige, and this tendency keeps on growing. When everything else has failed you, then it is your Guru on whom you begin to depend on. Guru can be a guide but Guru cannot walk the path for you.  Solely depending on the Guru and not practicing what Guru has taught, won’t work at all.  Just listening to the discourses and not implementing the words won’t serve you. In the end it is you who can redeem you – not the Guru.

Kabir has called this world ‘Nahirwa’. This word from Hindi language means girl’s home. In Hindu marriages a girl leaves her father’s house to live with her husband. As every girl’s dream would be to get married and be with her husband, Kabir says, ‘I don’t like being here in this world, I wish to go to my husband’s home.’ Who is the husband? God is the husband. It’s a very poetic expression. In India God is not only just your father; God can be your husband too and what a wonderful husband. Sufis and saints have loved God like a woman would love her husband. In India there have been two types of bhakti movements – in one bhakta is masculine and in other feminine. In one tradition devotee is woman and God is man, and in other bhakta is man and God is considered a woman. There is a deeper angle to this form of devotion which we need to understand fully.
God is invisible, and it is beyond mind and senses; a devout wonders how I can find thee. The pursuit to find God is very masculine. We have to work, we have to woo, and we have to provoke God to come out of her veil. The other movement was where devout sees himself as female and God as a man. Hence, as a woman waits for her beloved to come and take her away, similarly devotee waits for God to sweep him into the divine world of lord. Kabir in these verses is singing in feminine notes – “Nahirwa humka na bhaway” i.e. I don’t like being in this world and I want to be with my Lord. The urgency, longing and the pain of love are spun in these words.
This world which seems so enchanting and entertaining to you is not a source of joy or happiness for the lover of God. For the lover of God going within oneself is the perfect way to have a rendezvous with the existent. It seems so amazing that the world in which you are entangled, and you find it so difficult to come out of, seems to the eyes of devotee just a heap of dust. For the lover of God it is nothing more than dust.

The world that seems so solid and physical to you – in reality it is not!  The reality which seems so distant to you is something most close to you.
Some people wonder how can someone leave everything and just follow God and just do meditation, chanting, yoga, and mantra all the time. “How can one be so insensitive that one leaves the world which is so beautiful – such wonderful sights, great delicious food to eat, wonderful sex. How can one leave all this and run after God, which you don’t even see.” However, the truth is that what seems to be sparkling like diamonds to you is nothing more than a dewdrop, which is merely sparkling in sunrays. It seems to be shining like a diamond and you wish to, hold it and, become rich with it – but can you become rich by holding a dewdrop in your hand? The moment you touch the dewdrop it is gone…it dies, dissolves.
The world that seems so solid and physical to you – in reality it is not!  The reality which seems so distant to you is something most close to you. But you can’t see this because the veil of darkness & ignorance has clouded your mind. Even now you are unable to relate to all this.
This poem of Kabir, a great mystic poet, is oozing with love, with real love and he says so because he experienced the godliness but you don’t feel such love for God. As you have no idea who God is; for you God is just an idea propagated by priests and believed by masses. God is nothing more than a belief for most of the people, although it is a different story that people can die or kill in the name of God.

It is a  pleasure to wish the pioneer of spirituality, GuruMaa, on her Enlightenment day. Gurumaa, may we ask you to please address us on this joyous occasion?
I am really, really surprised that how come I do not know which is my Enlightenment day and you know which is my Enlightenment day! I never, ever had this inkling in my mind that someone will one day talk about the day when I got enlightened and it will be an honorable, celebrative day!
I had no clue. So honestly speaking, I cannot give you one particular time or day when I got enlightenment. 11th April is the day when I wore ochre colored clothes for the first time. In India, when someone does that with the permission of their Master, it is called Sanyas, Sanyas-Divas, Sanyas Day.
But as I have said many, many times, my Sanyas is not a traditional, ritualistic Sanyas. No ceremonies were involved, no prayers were done. No special chanting was done. And even the Master who had given me this permission to wear the ochre color was not present physically. Traditionally, someone has to give this permission, only then you can wear it. You never wear it your own. In my case, that Master too was not physically present when I wore them. So 11th April is the day when I took the ochre color, but it is definitely not Enlightenment day. Because I was enlightened far, far before this thing happened – when I chose this colour or anything like that….
It has nothing to do with what happened within, and I was rather wondering that when my enlightenment day is. It is a riddle, it is a puzzle; I don’t know….
Osho gave a date that he got enlightenment on this particular day. I think  it is 21st January or 19th  January, something like that. And from him, many other Gurus too followed his example and everyone started saying, “Okay, I got enlightened on this day.” It is by chance that Osho could say, “Okay, this happened on this day”. But that is one exceptional case. The truth is this – maybe I am more Zen-like and in Zen, no announcements are made. And those who announce this are considered to be false. Their claim is null and void, they are speaking untruth.
Kabir too affirms this and he says, “Those who say that we are enlightened are not enlightened, and those who do not say so, are definitely not enlightened as well”. However, it is not a question of saying this, it is not a question of your announcement. It is not a question of standing on Lal Kila or some fort and making an announcement like the Prime Minister of India, “Okay, this is the day, the day when we got independence.” So, enlightenment is the day when I got my real independence.
There is no need to do that too, so just a small correction which I would like to make is that it is just a Sanyas day, nothing special. It is just calling all of you and having a celebration, so it is just an excuse, Nothing serious in that. The reason for a celebration can be made anytime and every time.

Nature has made the two genders of male and female different from one another. Their physical differences are evident, but they are different mentally too; they think differently. But one thing is common to them for sure, and that is that they cannot stay away from one another. Nothing can separate them, not even their multiple differences. A boy and a girl are apart only at the toddler stage, but once the hormone glands become active, nothing can stop them from coming together. Men can’t live without women or women without men. The truth is that nature has created these differences for a purpose. As the saying goes: Opposites will always attract. Mutual attraction between the sexes is nature’s handiwork.
Once upon a time, in primitive society, a man could have sex with any woman and vice versa – just like animals. Then, as man became wiser and started living in organized groups, the need for sex acquired another dimension – that of emotional attachment. This emotional attachment led to the further domestication of man and woman. The concept of marriage came into the picture and started taking shape slowly. When man started living in closed groups, the structure of society started to evolve, and society designed marriage around sexual attraction and emotional bonding.
Many people believe that marriages are tailor-made by god…….

……Most people I have observed feel that marriage is something which everyone should indulge in at a certain age in their life, as though it is a compulsion; maybe for sex it is! For girls it is a license to get good clothes and be the focus of attention, even though just for a few nights during the wedding celebrations. For boys it is most definitely sex, and lots of it; the best part is that they don’t even have to pay for it! And yes, it is also about finally getting a woman they can own and flaunt in their social circle.
Sex seems to be the only binding factor for many married couples, who are otherwise nagging and fighting all the time. At times the bond is the children who are accidently born of such encounters. Thus, for the sake of the children, social marriages are kept intact. I have observed many unhappy marriages that are still withstanding every onslaught, as a divorce would bring more complications and troubles for the couple and their children
Now  lets see how marriages are planned. In Indian society it is the parents or the elders who choose a bride or groom for their children. The norm is that this selection is made within the boundries of caste and religion. What is the criteria for selection? Religion, money, social status, looks: this is the order of priority. In arranged marriages it is not the union of two individuals but of two families. Therefore economic worth is given great importance and then comes the status and of course the appearance. In love marriages, the chart is topsy-turvy; first come looks, and then everything else.

Never are compatibility, like-mindedness, likes and dislikes taken into consideration…..

Ramesh was congratulated by his lovely wife Sunita, “Darling, it is our wedding anniversary. I pray to god to be your wife in my next seven lives too.” Ramesh whispered to himself, “O god, may this be my last birth, how else will I tolerate her for the next seven.”

Lets examine how marriage was viewed in the
distant past, from the point of view of tradition. In Vedic times, marriage was considered to be not entirely a social contract or a worldly commitment, but was seen as an
important part of one’s spiritual journey. Masters and students saw life in a larger perspective.

For a Hindu there are four pillars on which life should ideally be based: Dharma – the principle of life; arth – money; kaama – desires including sex; moksha – liberation. These were considered the four objectives of life. A human being should strive to experience all four in  order to bring about a total harmony, completeness and fullfilment to life.
All Hindu gods are married: Shiva & Parvati, Vishnu & Lakhsmi, Ram & Sita, Krishna & Rukmini. Most of our sages and rishis were married. Vashist, Atri, Vishwamitra, Agasthya, and Garga Acharaya, the list goes on and on. Marriage was considered holy; it was not entered into for the sake of sex alone. Undoubtedly procreation was a reason, but another very important reason was that marriage was considered a part of sadhana. Living through the body and experiencing physical and emotional closeness and security was expected to mature the mind and take one to a deeper understanding of life. Usually people live their lives without any understanding of how and why things happen. In order to understand every experience with total awareness, training was given before marriage, to both men and women.

Boys and girls received training of the mind by various means: studying of the scriptures, contemplation, meditation – serving the master for good eighteen years made them mature and responsible adults. This period of brahmcharya was a preparation for the future challenges in a householder’s life. When a person gets married, every bhoga – sensory pleasure – is within reach. This is the time to test whether man is the master of his body, mind and senses, or it is the sensory objects which will enslave him. Marriage means being in the world and of the world, and yet being firmly established in one’s spiritual practices; learning to remain distant and aloof from it. We live our life through this body; resisting the urges of the mind and body is like losing battle…..
Marriage was supposed to be a tool of sadhana, a testing-ground for one’s mind, to see how much it is attached to sex, wealth, house, name etc

My question is: “Did you marry nurturing the same sentiments and mind-set as described above? If unmarried, are you preparing to get married in a similar manner, as it is supposed to be? Everyone is so keen to get married but no one talks about this! Therefore, I say good! Go ahead and get married, but are you prepared for it? Do you know what marriage really means? If you get  married without the right understanding of marriage, then most probably it will become a curse for you. It will become a cross on which you will be martyred.
Please think before you leap. If you are well prepared for marriage, then it can be heaven, and if you are not, then it will be a curse. By itself, marriage is neither heaven nor hell – it is what a person makes of it.

Q: What exactly is an emotion and from where does it arise? Is it a mental state related only to the individual or does it involve others as well. How is it related to our thoughts?

Gurumaa: In this world duality is concerned only with subject and object. The interaction of these two results in a range of experiences. The entire experiential world consists of an object and a subject. Every individual has a characteristic mind set, a particular background, a certain upbringing, a defined socio-economic structure, and a personalized ability to comprehend life: these differ from other individuals. Hence each individual’s reaction to an object or a situation is different. The mind too works at various levels: conscious, unconscious, sub-conscious and super-conscious. All the inputs received through the five senses – eyes, nose, ears, tongue and skin – are continuously perceived and registered by the mind. The objective world is known by its sight, smell, taste, touch and sound: all these sensory inputs are stored in the sub-conscious mind which can be called the hard disk of our mental computer.

It is strange that each mind perceives and stores information in a different way. The same thing can be good, bad, wonderful or ugly to different people. Our world is created by our perceptions, therefore I can say that emotions are spontaneous reactions of individuals to objects experienced by the senses. Emotions are waves that emanate from a conditioned mind. Waves of thoughts keep rising in the mind; the mind reacts impulsively or responds logically to a given situation. When the sub-conscious mind receives information it is passive, but most of the time the conscious mind – dependant on its preconditioning – imparts a certain hue to the input received. At other times the information is analyzed by the mind itself, for we have strong opinions about most things.

Emotions are spontaneous reactions of individuals to objects experienced by the senses

Q: Could you please explain us about emotional dependency?

Gurumaa: Every individual seeks joy and security. Fear of loss, fear of the unknown and fear of death is intrinsic to the human mind – therefore the mind always looks for happiness and emotional security. It is the natural tendency of the mind to seek a person or thing most likely to give us hope of joy and security in an uncertain future, and fit into the requirements of our needs. Because insecurities are deeply embedded in the human mind, therefore one is unwittingly attracted to the source of apparent hope. And soon the mind spins a whole web of expectations around that thing or person. No one wishes to be alone or unwanted, so the mind plays all kinds of games and uses all kinds of ploys to seek attention and to make a positive impression on parents, teachers, friends and colleagues. The mind tends to lend a wide spectrum to its aspirations – it wants to grab everything which can give it a sense of worth!

It is the natural tendency of the mind to seek a person or thing most likely to give us hope of joy and security in an uncertain future, and fit into the requirements of our needs

The mind suffers from the disease of possessiveness; it clings to objects and individuals as though this alone can make it happy or secure. From here dependency begins. This one line: I cannot live without you, is the trademark of your dependency. On record no one will admit to being dependant, yet no one is free of dependence. Take a minute to think and look deep inside and see if you feel that you cannot live without something or someone. If the answer is yes, then certainly you are an emotional dependant. This fact is unrecognized and unaccepted by most people; that is how you end up suffering at your own hands.
I know of many people who say that they can’t live without something or someone – a relative, a car, a dog, the husband, the wife, the job or status – the list goes on and on – and yet if you confront them directly with this fact, they will simply deny it.

Q: What does it mean to take emotional responsibility? How can one change the pre-conditioning of the mind?

Gurumaa: Being emotionally responsible means not being vulnerable, rather, being conscious in our dealings with people. It also means to be conscious of our mind and to observe our responses to people and situations. Unknowingly the mind creates mental bondages and desires – propelled by lust and greed – which are then topped with insecurities. You are constantly and untiringly occupied with creating a mess in your life! Speculations that are strife with anxiety add fuel to fire, increasing our agony further. One has to look deep into the mind and ask: ‘What do you want O mind. What are you looking for?’ If you have a little clarity the answer will be right in front of your eyes. But if you are totally immersed in worldly pursuits, then only the bitter knocks of life can give you a wake up call!

Awareness is the anti-virus to the infection of dependency in the mind
If a virus infests our computer we have it cleaned up; so it is always wise to have a good anti-virus system installed on your laptops and computers. Awareness is the anti-virus to the infection of dependency in the mind. But awareness does not happen in a day, one has to learn to develop and strengthen it with every passing day. A life lived without awareness is indeed a bed of thorns, of insecurities and of slavery.

One has to look deep into the mind and ask: ‘What do you want O mind. What are you looking for?’ If you have a little clarity the answer will be right in front of your eyes

Q: How can one rise above emotions?

Gurumaa: By simply being a witness to them. All emotions arise in the mind – and the knower of the mind is indeed different from the mind. The association with the mind is so strong that it seems absolutely impossible to see oneself as separate from the mind. The identification with the mind is even deeper than the association with the body. When one can’t see the body, senses and the mind as being different from the self, then how can one be a witness to their action? We never feel that the body is different from us – we see the body as being us. The same is true of the mind. Although we do say that ‘my’ mind is sad, happy, excited, anxious or angry – yet deep inside we see ourselves as a body and a mind. Thus any sensation taking place in the body or any  emotion arising in the mind, are thought of as happening to us. So when the mind is shattered we feel that I am shattered; when the mind is happy then we say that I am happy. The waves of emotions which arise in the mind engulf you. The identification with the mind is so strong and overpowering that it is very difficult to see the knower as distinct from the mind.

We never feel that the body is different from us – we see the body as being us. The same is true of the mind. Although we do say that ‘my’ mind is sad, happy, excited, anxious or angry – yet deep inside we see ourselves as a body and a mind
It is difficult to learn to swim when the river is in flood; it is wiser to do so when it is calm. Similarly, when the mind is not disturbed one can understand experientially, the art of witnessing thoughts. What is the mind? It is the sum total of thoughts, impressions, memories and conditioning. As one practices awareness, one by one the thoughts unravel and very slowly one begins to understand the whole drama played out by the complexities of the mind. This art requires deep patience and perseverance on the part of the meditator – it will not happen in one day, nor will it happen with theoretical knowledge. It will happen only by first accepting the fact that thoughts exist and then alienating one’s self from them. Emotions are strong responses which occur more as a reflex than as a deliberate exercise. You do not think of a response to a situation, it happens spontaneously defeating all your meticulous plans of not getting angry, sad or jealous. When the situation arises you do just the exact opposite of what you had planned! And feel guilty into the bargain!
Emotions fail all your great philosophies. Life is full of new situations and challenges, and  no one can prepare or tutor one’s self to meet them. The mind is very complex and one needs to understand its mechanism to overcome its grip. Witnessing the functioning of the mind gives you the ability to be established in the process of witnessing – this paves the way for overcoming the grip of emotions.

Q: What about the accumulation of suppressed emotions, is it not also a disease of the mind?

Gurumaa: There are two schools of thought on this issue: traditional society favours suppression and modern western society favours expression. In the first the practitioner suffers and in the second where you vent your feelings, there is a possibility that the other person suffers – so one party has to suffer, which is definitely not a good thing. A third way is to neither suppress nor express, but to watch the drama of emotions played out in the mind as a witness to the reactions and responses of people including yourself. People are so well conditioned and trained to emote that they act and react accordingly. There are some words which will upset you and others which will make you happy. Every smart person tries to learn the trigger words; those who do can easily manipulate people. Deep in their hearts everyone tries not to be vulnerable and they create a wall around themselves – a wall of cold behavior, anger, egotism or aloofness. That is their way of protecting themselves from an onslaught of emotions and its repercussions.

Society requires people to behave in a certain way; there is code of conduct to be followed in offices, in families and in public places. Everyone tries their best to follow the diktats of social mores, but this only adds to their hypocrisy, leading to further suffering. Society is more accepting of robots than of human beings who respond to situations.
I have heard that when Rinzai’s master died, he cried so loudly that people were surprised: How could a man of his stature cry like this in public. Some advised him not to wail like a woman, others reminded him of his master’s message that the body is mortal. Rinzai said, “Well, I do know that, but I have lost my master’s body, the one that spoke great words of wisdom, that loved me and accepted me as I am. I am not bothered about what people will say about my crying. I am weeping for the body and not for the eternal soul. I am crying for the body which will never again be seen in all its beauty and glory.
Rinzai was not a hypocrite – he was a normal person who could cry when he was hurt, while simultaneously witnessing the crying; he could come out of it whenever he wanted to.