At the outset, I ask you a simple question: Do you love yourself? If your answer is yes, then why do you live in stress?  Why do you create turmoil and frustration for yourself? Most of the people will say, Oh no…I don’t create stress, but I get stressed because people hurt and torture me. The truth is that until and unless you are not ready to absorb the  negativity of other people you cannot be frustrated or unhappy. You become stressed only when you open doors of  our mind and take in negativities of others. This is how you end up being upset – if you don’t take in the negativities of  other people, then can anyone make you upset?

When someone gives you a gift, you have every right to say ‘No’ or you can accept the gift. And when someone is saying bad words to you, the other person can be your husband or wife, mother, father, child, neighbor or your boss is giving you harsh treatment, you can remain vigilant and not respond unconsciously; you can listen to it very attentively but refuse to take it in. But you live your life so impulsively that you never think about this. You just unconsciously grab whatever is said to you and end up in a miserable state.When you know who you are and how you do your duties, then why do you react to the situations in which the other person is unloading his anger on you. If that person is being unwise, you be wise at least.

You should take responsibility of your mind, and see what is beneficial or harmful to your mind. You need to keep a watch on what you will take in seriously or what you will simply ignore. If you are given poison, will you eat it? I give you a situation: Someone invites you for food, you go to their home, and you see a cockroach floating in the soup which you have been served. Now out of politeness, will you take that soup? The host is serving you with great love to eat but you can see that there is a cockroach in your soup, will you take that? You are not crazy, you are not mad, you will point it out to your host about the is-happening.

But when odd situations arise in your relationships, you don’t use your judgment well. You can’t be honest in your dealings – in the hope of golden future you endure so much humiliation, pain, insults. You not only take it but you chew on your ugly situations. You talk about it again and again with your relatives, friends and sometimes even to casual acquaintances. You wash your dirty linen in front of all. I have observed, people find a very narcissistic pleasure out of their sad stories. If one narrates his story then soon another person will follow to talk about his agony and will magnify it more than what actually would have happened in reality. What is the cockroach in soup of your relationships – it is ‘Expectations’, the hopes you have from others, or others have from you; this cockroach is indeed spoiling the broth of your life.

One more factor which is responsible for your stress is that you are absorbing everything in your head, as you have a humongous list of likes and dislikes. This list of yours makes you biased and you judge people, things as per your preferences. You create an idea about anything and everything in your head and then you act according to that condition. You see world from these spectacles and so does other person. On the top of that, you passively take every comment, observation and remark very seriously. Other person might have said something in lighter mood but you are never lighter – you are always loaded with your perceptions hence confusion and discord is the result.

Only if you use the power of discrimination and think twice before taking any thought seriously, it would save you from unnecessary stress. If only  you be vigilant towards which thoughts you are going to save in your brain and which thoughts you would simply brush off – you would not create stress for yourself and maybe you wouldn’t give stress to someone else too. Do not accept every thought – use your intellect more.

In your day-to-day life too you have to use the power of discrimination – what you are going to consume and what you are going to reject; even whom you are going to interact with, etc. Even if you do not want to be with any particular individual, who is a walking tower of negativity, you can always use your intellect and secure yourself. You should save yourself from any kind of onslaught.

Stress is carcinogenic. It kills your body cells and infects your immune system. You may think, ‘well, I don’t have much stress – it is a small issue’ but be aware that poison even in small amount is enough to end your life. Do not say that you have little stress. Even this little stress can be equivalent to little poison; the only difference is that this poison of stress will kill you slowly.

Chanting is one of the most wonderful ways to live a stress-free life. A research study was done in Australia on the benefits of chanting Om. I would like to share the results of that study. When Om mantra is chanted in a correct way, it has a direct effect on the pineal gland. It is one of the most important glands in the brain from where vital hormones are secreted. What are hormones? Hormones are the chemicals which have neurotransmitters to run your body system perfectly. The pineal gland with pituitary and hypothalamus takes care of all your major systems in the body like musculoskeletal, circulatory, digestive, eliminatory, cardiovascular, etc. Brain is the computer of body, and there is such a complex lymphatic and glandular system which is running human body so perfectly. But this computer comes with a hazard that it can get corrupted.

When you chant Om, it has profound effect on the pineal gland. It means if you do it correctly, soon you will experience the changes. When you are in deep sleep all these glands are working and various chemicals are secreted by glands like thyroxin, melatonin and serotonin. When you worry for a long time, this system gets corrupted soon. More stress means glands will not secrete chemicals as it is needed. Because of continuous stress your sleep gets affected, and when you can’t sleep properly, then further hormonal system malfunctions. The Australian research said that if you chant Om regularly, your glandular system would start functioning normally. You will assimilate the power of the mantra, and this power will improve your health and calm your mind.

You may do a small practical now. Sit straight. Spine should be erect. Sit in a comfortable pose / asana, making sure you have a solid base. No movements of your shoulders, arms, fingers, toes, head – nothing should move. Stop every movement – sit like a statue. Keep your body immobile. Slowly close your eyes but do not close them too tight.

Stop all movements of the body. Take a deep breath through your nose and gently let it go out through your nose. It is very unhealthy to breathe through your mouth, so breathe through your nose. Fill the lungs with air – take deep breaths in and out. Try to inhale slowly, and gently let your breath become silken breath – devoid of any jerk. Feel the body movements – when the breath goes in you will feel the stomach expanding, and when you exhale your stomach will move in and rib cage lowers to the normal position. Be observant and see the changes attentively. By taking deeper breaths are giving your body and mind a rest; this is the best technique to keep the body healthy and to keep it free from diseases.

Step two is to take a deep breath, inhale deeply and while exhaling chant slowly Om….Om…Om…Om….Om…Om…Om….Feel the vibrations which are happening in your throat region and listen to the sound you are creating by chanting Om. Do it for ten minutes.

Now don’t use the word Om, but just a sound similar to a bee – hmmm…hmmm…hmmm. Do it in the mind. You can hum without saying the word Om but do not forget to inhale deep. Be focused on your breath, the sound, and while exhaling chant hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. After a while, chant the ‘Om’ mantra mentally, breathing deep, let the chanting resound in your mind.

Now be silent.

Let your mind be absorbed in this mantra chanting – in vibrations of the divine word. When it is done with the right method and aptitude, it produces mind-boggling results. But you have to do it every day. You cannot derive its great effects, if you don’t do it correctly and regularly.

These days laparoscopic laser surgery is done to remove kidney stones. Do you know why stones are formed- the reason is when oxygen doesn’t reach properly in the abdomen area and when there is lesser energy, calcium begins to deposit in that area and stones are formed. In laparoscopic surgery, they use sound waves to crush the stone and crumbled particles pass out through urine. If the sound waves have the power to crush the stone, then imagine the enormous changes these sound vibrations produced by chanting can bring in the body and brain.
If anyone has thyroid problem then they should do the Gunjan of Om. For Gunjan, plug your ears with thumbs and do chanting of ‘Om’. Gently plug the ear with your thumbs and gently chant Om. It will have a direct effect on your thyroid gland, and it will soon begin to function normally. So chanting Om is going to give you so much benefit – physically and emotionally.

So begin your day with the mantra and end the day with it. Wherever and whenever it is possible, do your chant – on the way to work, sitting in train, car – you can use your time in a much more creative way. Silently chant Om.

Do your Om chanting and stop worrying as worrying isn’t going to change anything. Rather it will take your health away. Keep your mind cool, live your life with grace and know that the law of karma is working – so be good and do good. If still some challenges and difficult situations arise, handle them wisely. Soon you will be beaming like a sun. Don’t believe my words, try for yourself.
Tat Sat Om

‘Action is life and no one can remain without action.’

You have to do the action; your body, senses, mind, everything is in action – no one can remain without action
Life is not a problem – the only thing is that you have taken your life seriously. You have forgotten that it is just a dream. You have forgotten the fact that before this body you were formless. The day this body dies again you will become formless until your next reincarnation. In between birth and death the drama of the forms is happening. All of you have names, addresses, characters and attributes, and this interaction which is happening in the midst of different forms, bodies, identities is the real time drama happening. Why can’t you enjoy that?

The problem is that you don’t flow with your life. Life is always going to give you a new situation and a new challenge, but you should never be comfortable in any situation – good or bad – as everything is going to change.
When you sleep at night and dreams begin, you forget the so-called real world. When the dream is over, the cycle of deep sleep comes and then you leave behind the dream world too. Deep sleep brings the transition from real to dream world and this happens so smoothly that you are not even aware of its happening. Death too brings the change from this life to next, from this body to next body, and when death comes this life which seems real will be forgotten like a dream. As long as it is there, enjoy life!
But you cannot enjoy life if you don’t know what eternal is i.e. what is that which is non-changing. You can’t enjoy life if you are not aware of real joy which is not dependent on any outer source. Simply stating, if you do not know the art of being joyful how can you be joyous. For this, deeper understanding of life and its ways is to be learnt; one needs to be trained to be in joyousness. Now you are all trained to be pessimistic that is why you are picking on the negative points of people and nagging with people. But you are not able to pick up the good things in life. You are always looking at the half glass empty, not the half which is full. You never look at what you have but what you don’t have. Then you say, ‘why am I in misery? Why me?’

If you do not know the art of being joyful, how can you be joyous.
Know this one fundamental rule: ‘Change is the law’. Things are going to change; you should not be dependent on individuals or situations because they all can change anytime
Know this one fundamental rule: “Change is the law’. Things are going to change; you should not be dependent on individuals or situations because they all can change anytime. A friend can become a foe and a foe can become a friend anytime. When it happens you will be flabbergasted. You wonder how that happened. The only person or the only being you can depend upon is God alone. Learn to trust God; those who trust, they never feel sad, dejected or frustrated.

Surdas, a great blind saint said in one of his compositions that there is no better friend than Hari (God). He gave many examples sourced from mythology to prove his point. In Vishnu Purana there is a story of an elephant that was caught by a crocodile. Hari came running to crocodile’s rescue. He gave another example from Mahabharata where Krishna helped five brothers, the Pandavas, from every obstacle and they attained paradise with Lord’s grace. So, nobody can be better than Hari. Surdas says, “God will remove all your sufferings, sadness and difficulties, but the question is: Are you ready to be with God?” Now your love and attention for God is conditional. You think: God saved them, why shouldn’t He save me also? But it is not possible until your love for God is unconditional.

God will remove all your sufferings, sadness and difficulties, but the question is: Are you ready to be with God?
Who is a devotee? The one who can surrender to Lord without any question, whatever may happen. You have come to this world naked and you will go naked. In between these two situations, you see some people are with more money and stuff than others, some got name, fame, etc. but what is the difference? When you came out of your mother’s womb, you were not even wearing a nappy! You came out all naked. The day you die, as per Hindu custom, the body is covered with kafan (shroud) and taken to the cremation ground. Your daughter-in-laws, sons, daughters and all siblings together will make sure to remove all the jewelry, designer watches, solitaires which you savoured and wore with pride. If you had not made a will then they will get the thumb impression on the faked will. Today you have no time for doing sadhana or to seek God, your whole time is consumed in worldly pursuits. Wake up before it is too late. Pay attention to your upliftment now.

God cannot become your experience unless and until you make it as your priority and put all your energy, capabilities, will and volitions in exploring this
One old man went to a doctor as he couldn’t see clearly. Doctor examined him and said “you have cataract and surgery is required and it should be done as early as possible”. The old man thought why should I go for operation – I have 8 sons so I have 16 eyes, I have 8 daughters so another 16 eyes, my wife has 2 eyes, so in total I have 34 eyes. I am living in a house with thirty-four eyes, so why should I get operated. These eyes are more than enough for me and moreover how long will I live? Why waste money. One day a fire accident happened in his house and the whole house got engulfed in raging fire. Soon all the thirty-four eyes rushed out to save their lives, and old man was stuck as he had totally lost his vision. Once family was outside the house they realized that the old man is still in the house. It was too late for them to go inside. Since the old man couldn’t escape on his own, he got burned and died.
Who do you think is going to help you? You have no time for God. You are ‘ok’ with the concept of God. You have not explored God. You have not discovered God. You have not experienced God. For you God is just a concept. This concept has no root; it is not grounded and any communist can slash it away. Any misfortune, any hard situation shakes you up, and you begin to wonder – does God exist? It is just a concept, nothing more than that. You haven’t made it an experience. You just believe in God, and beliefs don’t work.
Once people used to believe that earth is sitting on the horn of a bull, and when the bull gets tired he shifts the earth from one horn to another which causes earthquakes. This is what people used to believe. Is it true? Once upon a time people believed that the earth is square and flat but now we don’t believe that. Now we know that the earth is round. Once it was believed that sun does the circumambulation of the earth and poor Galileo was executed in the king’s court for just saying this – It is the earth which is revolving around the sun and not the sun which revolves around the earth. But do we believe all this now? All beliefs keep on changing.
God should not be your belief. God should be your experience. God cannot become your experience unless and until you make it as your priority and put all your energy, capabilities, will and volitions in exploring this. If you are happy in the very convenient belief system, I have nothing against that. So be happy, as such the idiom says ‘fools live in paradise’. Fools are happy in their belief system. But wise ones will always explore what Truth is, what reality is. Surdas did that and found the fact that no one can be my true friend and I fully surrender and leave myself in His hands and whatever may happen in my life I am fine.

In fact, a skillful touch is an extremely powerful therapeutic tool which connects us at deep emotional levels.
A study carried out in America illustrates this very clearly. Two groups of premature babies were studied; the first was the control group in which the infants were left alone most of the time, except for feeding. The infants in the second group were held and cuddled each time they were fed. After the study was complete, it was observed that 80% of the infants in the second group had put on more weight than those in the control group. These babies were healthier and were able to leave the hospital much earlier than the control group, saving the government thousands of dollars in childcare.
This and other similar studies show how vital the sense of touch is to human beings; in fact it can be a lifesaver. Throughout history, nearly every culture developed its own traditional hands-on healing methods, which profoundly affected human beings on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. In fact, touch can vary from direct contact with the area to merely stroking the aura without any actual physical contact with the body.
Massage is a wonderful technique which employs skillful touch to relax both body and mind. It is a unique way of communicating without words; a healing art, which relieves pain and suffering.
In today’s jet age, massage is most definitely a stress buster as energy levels are low but stress levels are very high – whether it is deadlines at work, commuting in crowded cities or emotional confrontations in relationships. Children particularly, are brought up more with dictatorship than with love and understanding; the stricter the upbringing, the more dysfunctional and stressed-out adults they become.
It is now proven beyond doubt that our thoughts and emotions have a direct imprint on our body. In fact, we are what we think!
Often we notice that when we are happy and positive, our body feels light, flexible and energetic. When we feel depressed, stress, tension and negative emotions take over and we feel weighed down – as if a heavy burden is upon us. It is as if we are literally carrying the ‘weight of the world’ on our shoulders.
If this tension is not dissipated, it gets stored in the body. Negative thinking and suppression of desires leads to more blocks, preventing the free flow of energy. This blocked-up energy causes rigidity in muscles and tissues. Excess tissue builds up in the affected area forming a ‘protective’ psychological barrier. Wilhelm Reich, the father of modern psychology coined an apt term for it. He called it ‘Body Armour’, a term massage therapists are all too familiar with.
Rigidity in the body brings rigidity to the mind, and each perpetuates the other, setting up a vicious cycle.
This brings along chronic fatigue, high blood pressure, chronic shallow breathing, a negative self-image and low self-esteem – the classic pathologies of neuro-muscular stress.
Stress can be stored anywhere in the body. However, it is found that specific areas like the neck, shoulders and back muscles usually accumulate more stress. These muscles tend to remain stiff and tense all the time until eventually the pain becomes chronic. It gets aggravated with bad posture, hunching over the computer for hours together, wearing ill-fitting uncomfortable shoes and lifting heavy things incorrectly.

“Massage is a wonderful technique which employs

skillful touch to relax both body and mind.

It is a unique way of communicating without words;

a healing art, which relieves pain and suffering.”

 Our muscles have an inbuilt memory; they learn to contracton stimulation and relax whenthe stimulus is removed. However, when we remain stressed for a long time, muscles forget their original relaxed state and remain contracted all the time – a condition called sensory-motor amnesia. This leads to chronic stress and can be very painful.
A good massage therapist locates and gently eases out the tension areas. Different massage strokes like kneading, friction and application of pressure enhance blood circulation and flush out wastes and toxins from the body. The heat generated by friction and rubbing helps to loosen the tight muscles. In expert hands, knots slowly unravel and the muscle gradually comes back to its original elasticity. This takes time, but guided breathing by the therapist and a willingness to consciously let go of holding patterns on the part of the client, are key factors. Once muscles relax, breathing slows down and the positive and negative charges in the body start to balance out.
A massage treatment should ideally feel like one continuous flow, and a good massage can even lead to altered states of consciousness.
Circulatory massage can be relaxing or energizing. The strokes are nearly always in the direction of the heart. Long, smooth strokes called effleurage, and kneading, squeezing strokes called pettrisage, are the two most important strokes in circulatory massage, so called because blood and lymph circulation as well as the heart function are greatly facilitated.
A relaxing massage generally starts with the face and head to calm the thoughts, and then moves downwards.
Esalen Massage, developed at Esalen Institute, California, at the very beginning of the New Age movement, is a very soothing massage with long, rhythmic strokes, which can put people to sleep! It is great for business oriented people and those who are tense and hyperactive, as it is a wonderful way of transfering healing energy.
Swedish Massage on the other hand, is brisk and invigorating and generally starts with the legs and feet. Rapid strokes with deep friction and percussion movements break down congested lymph areas, cellulite, and muscle spasms, leaving the person totally rejuvenated. It is excellent for athletes, obese people and those who are depressed or withdrawn, as it increases vibrancy levels dramatically!
These days Deep Tisssue Massage is very popular. This employs firm, constant compression, which liberates psychic tension in the muscles. It elongates and restores the elasticity of muscles as well. This kind of slow, deep work is most effective when both the client and therapist breathe in unison.
Thai Massage is also called Yoga Massage and includes some amazing stretches, postures and unique pressure-point work, all of which have a direct effect on the energy meridians in the body. This enhances chi, the vital life-force energy in the body. The therapist uses his or her own body weight in a fluid, rhythmic manner and gently guides the client into a deeply relaxed harmonious state, where yin and yang – the polar opposites – come together in perfect balance.
Ayurveda – the ’science of life’ – too recommends massage as a daily practice to stay fit and healthy and to remove toxins from the body. The sequence moves from the legs upwards to the back, torso, the arms and then finally to the head. The strokes are proximal to distal and flow outward to nourish the extremities as well.
Ayurveda especially recommends the correct use of different oils according to the season, pulse diagnosis, age and temperament of the client.
Ayurvedic Massage is said to balance the tridosha – the three humours: vata (wind), pitta (bile) and kapha (phlegm). It is known to rejuvenate the system, nourish the seven dhatus (constituents of the body), remove fatigue, improve eyesight, increase longevity, enhance immunity and strengthen the skin improving its color and texture.
Head massage is given a lot of importance in Ayurveda as it increases the supply of fresh oxygen and glucose to the brain, relaxes the nervous system, improves the circulation of life-giving cerebro-spinal fluid, increases the secretion of hormones and enzymes necessary for growth and development of brain cells, cures dryness, and increases the level of pranic energy in the brain. Nowadays, ‘Indian Head Massage’ is in great demand in spas and beauty parlours the world over.

Some other benefits of massage include

* Feeling relaxed yet alert
* Increased body awareness
* Increased freedom, ease and range of movement
* Enhanced confidence andenergy
* Reduced need for sleep, yetsleeping more peacefully
* Faster healing
* Feeling emotionally nurtured
* Feeling good and positive

“Head massage is given a lot of importance in

Ayurveda as it increases the supply of fresh oxygen

and glucose to the brain, relaxes the nervous system,

improves the circulation of life-giving cerebro-spinal fluid,

increases the secretion of hormones and enzymes necessary

for growth and development of brain cells, cures dryness,

and increases the level of pranic energy in the brain”

Massage is nearly always done with oils. These days, Aromatherapy Massage with essential oils is very popular. Essential oils like lavender and tea-tree are the only ones that can be used without dilution. Almost all the others, like geranium, rosemary, cypress, citrus and many others are generally blended in tiny amounts with carrier oils like olive, almond, apricot seed and vitamin E. All these have their own characteristic aroma and give a luxurious feel to the massage. These oils have many beneficial properties and are a wonderful complement to a good massage.
They relax, awaken and energize the nervous system, increase immunity, combat insomnia and infections, and have an overall healing effect on the body and mind, particularly on the emotions.
Ayurvedic massage also uses sesame, mustard, coconut, olive and castor oil. These oils are all extremely beneficial and can be heat-producing or cooling, depending on which oil is used. Particular herbs and spices mixed or cooked in these oils – according to the season – are recommended for sound health.

Uses and Benefits of Massage Oils

* Mahanarayan taila – for muscular pain, rheumatism, arthritis, gout and stiff joints
* Brahmi amla – for head massage
* Bhringaraj – for head and hair. Prevents dandruff and dry hair. Soothes pitta
* Almond oil -for disorders of the brain, nervous system and for premature aging. It soothes the burning sensations of the skin
* Mustard oil – cures pains, swellings and wounds. It is a wormicide. It increases pitta and body heat. Destroys diseases caused by vata and kapha
* Olive oil – helps rheumatism, gout, athritis, sprains, polio and assists with general muscle, ligament and nerve weakness

Aromatherapy Oils

* Antiseptic – lavender and eucalyptus
* Anti-inflammatory – chamomile and lavender
* Fungicidal – patchouli, tea tree, sweet marjoram
* For burns, cuts and scars – lavender, geranium, neroli
* Deodorant – bergamot, thyme, juniper, cypress, lemongrass
* Insect repellent – spike lavender, clove, camphor, garlic and citronella

Contra-indications in Massage

Massage, if judiciously used, helps in healing. However, it should be avoided in the following conditions:
* Inflammation or skin disease
* Purulent (pus) accumulations
* Swellings that might be malignant
* Recent phlebitis (inflammation of veins)
* Recent osteomyelitis (bone infection)
* Recent lymphangitis (lymph node infection)
* Recent thrombosis (clots in blood vessels)
* Severe degrees of hernia
* Very high or very low blood pressure
* Indigestion, constipation, vomiting, fever, very bad cough or cold – (aggravated kapha)
* Heart problems
* Epilepsy
* Pregnancy
* Just after meals

Most people find it very difficult to really relax; they are tense all the time – even in their sleep. The deep relaxation that a massage treatment affords paves the way for the body and mind to heal, as beneficial hormones are secreted by the endocrine system, which in turn affect all other systems in a positive manner.
Massage heals and nurtures not only the recipient, but the masseuse as well.
It is a most amazing and fulfilling experience to connect at such a deep and non-sexual level with another human being. For many people, it makes a tremendous impact when they find that they are received fully and non judgmentally – just as they are. Massage can therefore also be an opening for deep emotional release, as long withheld patterns may emerge, which are then gently released. The intention of the therapist plays a vital role here, and a loving, caring attitude makes a world of difference in turning a massage into a memorable experience.

So treat yourself to some TLC
(tender loving care)…TODAY!!!

The author is working as a massage therapist in Gurumaa Ashram, Gannaur, Sonepat, Haryana.

Meditation is not meditating upon something but just being with oneself. There is no movement, no flickering – only being fully in the moment, in the NOW! When a person meditates, he loses all restlessness, his thinking stops and in that moment, he is a pool of energy. He becomes tremendously powerful. Meditation relieves you of all these pressures and artificial living. You begin to see the world with clarity and wisdom. When you see how fickle the world is and understand – impermanence, it opens up new avenues for you. The peace experienced during meditation works as a balm, soothing the mind. Remember, no one gives you pain – it is you who have induced pain on yourself. See life retrospectively – how you have lived and what mistakes you made unknowingly. Once you do, then it will become much easier for you to make the transition from living ignorantly to living consciously. Meditation is being with our true self; being able to control all activities of the mind and senses a well as making the right choices. It is an antidote to the mounting stress and tension. The tremendous transformation that meditation can bring to you can be derived only by delving into its experiences with the child-like innocence.

Mind is always restless, always in a state of flux. It is difficult for us to sit in the silent mode, to be in a relaxed state of mind. What to say about meditation, even simple relaxation is difficult. We need to undergo catharsis to remove all the repressions, all the emotional clouds, all the useless chattering that goes on in the mind. When we achieve this state, we’ll be able to relax totally. Meditation is the quietening of the mind. The power to heal comes from meditation. Meditation gives right knowledge and the right training to handle life. A blind man needs a stick to walk safely, but if we can cure his blindness, then he can do without that stick. Most of us are metaphorically blind. The eyes of our mind are shut. We need to open up our inner eyes – the eyes of our awareness and then we’ll be able to enjoy the every-flowing bliss of life. And then everything will be clear – meditation gives pristine clarity towards our life. True happiness can be experienced when our mind is peaceful. Even when we are presented with adverse conditions if our mind is calm then we can be happy all the time. The mind can be trained through meditation to achieve this state. One is no longer disturbed by external situations.

Urja Meditation or Dynamic Meditation is based on ancient methodology of a special breathing technique called Kapalbhati which involves strong and forceful exhalations.
It is powerful and easy method to get free from all the suffering, tensions, and garbage of mind. It refreshes our body, mind and intellect. Urja should be practiced by all of them who want to live their life with lots of energy, joy and calmness. It works as a great de-stressing tool and even helps the mind to clear off the negative thoughts.

This technique should be done on an empty stomach or at least three hours after eating. Sit comfortably in any meditative posture. Sit erect. Breathe normally for about five minutes. Once composed, you can begin. In Kapalbhati more attention is to be given on forceful exhalation while the inhalation remains passive. Exhale through both nostrils, contracting the middle and lower abdomen portions. Release the contractions quickly and immediately follow with another forceful exhalation. Inhale passively and effortlessly. Gradually increase the frequency. This technique increases exchange of gases in the lungs manifold. There is large-scale elimination of carbon dioxide and a huge absorption of oxygen. This process brings about catharsis which cleanses the inner recesses of the mind – and then mindfulness becomes easy. This exercise can give excellent results if done with conviction. You will glide into a state where mind will be totally at peace, relaxed and energized. Layers upon layers will get clearer and once all these are cleared and there is emptiness, then there will come this bright light of consciousness.
Regular practice will lead you to higher level of consciousness.

All meditation techniques of Anandmurti Gurumaa are backed with soulful music which is especially composed for the particular method. With easy-to-follow instructions, meditation becomes a joyful journey.

The mind has strange ways of misleading and miscalculating things – and then suffering because of it. Although everyone wants to be happy, yet everyone does all the things which create the reasons for more and more unhappiness. It is very important to understand one thing: that one cannot live in peace if one is in bondage. If a person is bound in physical chains then that is a physical bondage that is very visible, but when the chains are invisible and subtle, then it is more difficult to overcome them.

A mind that is bound by its desires, attachments and dreams is a ‘pashu’

In the Hindi language the word for animal is ‘pashu’; the root of the word ‘pashu’ is ‘pash’ which means rope. Hence the meaning of ‘pashu’ is one who is bound by rope. Animals are tied, not human beings. One end of the rope is tied round an animal’s neck and the other end of the rope is tied to a pole. Have you ever seen an animal that is tied up? Such a sad state; its movement is restricted. If its drinking water or food is kept at a distance, then it has to suffer hunger and thirst and can’t do a thing about it. The animal is in an helpless position – it can’t complain or shout or submit a complaint against its owner with any court or authority. Man too is bound; man too is in chains; the state of man too is pathetic. Can a person who is in bondage be happy? A mind that is bound by its desires, attachments and dreams is a ‘pashu’ too. The difference between an animal and a man is not just of the body; the truth is that the mind of a human is also in chains. The only difference is that the rope that ties an animal is visible and the rope that ties a man is invisible.

One cannot live in peace if one is in bondage

Shiva is also known as Pashupatinath – ‘pashu’ means animal and ‘pati’ means lord. Hence the meaning of Pashupatinath is: Lord of the animals. We are born with the possibility of, and ability to, become pashupatinath, i.e., lord of the animal within. This name signifies that unless and until you are awakened, you are a pashu – an animal – a slave of the senses and the mind. When you are awakened you become a master of your senses and of your mind too. In Shiva is the objective and target of human life – that is to rise above the mind and senses. When the mind is the master, then you are the slave. When the mind knows only sensual physical joys, then it is bound to them – there is no other option left.
From birth you were dependent on your mother, father, aunt, nanny, or granny for anything you needed. When you were hungry, when you were afraid, when you were lonesome, when you fell down and got hurt – you called for help, and the one who was available to you most of the time was the person you got attached to the most. Slowly this attachment led to a sense of security, happiness and protection. This develops into emotional bondage and one begins to feel weak, vulnerable and sad if that person is not close or within reach. This emotional slavery clips your wings and imprisons you in an imaginary cage – one which you have created, and jailed yourself in.
I see people worrying endlessly about individuals they are attached to. Any small delay in a child or husband’s return home from school or work gives rise to fears of what may have happened. Thoughts of a possible accident or mugging plague the mind. People are in constant fear of their spouse being involved with someone else; they always keep a watchful eye over one another.  The mind begins to torture itself incessantly till the loved one or his message arrives.
These are some of the external situations which may arise in your life, but there is no end to the possibilities of such circumstances. If you are not free from emotional bondage, then neither can you ever be really free of worries and anxieties. And if you have a high level of anxiety in your mind, it will certainly give rise to a number of diseases in the body too. An unhealthy mind lives in an unhealthy body.
So the question is: Do you know how to keep your mind anxiety and bondage free? If you don’t, then you are really in bad shape – you are slowly inching towards disease and death!

An unhealthy mind lives in an unhealthy body

A stressed out mind is home to many psychosomatic diseases. I can honestly say, that if you wish to remain physically and mentally healthy, then you must keep your mind free of bonds and stress. Actually all the stress occurs because of bondages. You want  that a person who is a source of joy and security to you should stay with you forever; he should never leave you. Therefore, no matter how difficult it is to live with that person, you still carry on. Unhappy marriages continue because of such insecurity and mental bondage.

You don’t know how to survive without certain people so you put up with them and end up suffering a lot. And the more you suffer, the more you seek opportunities to hit back! In the name of relationships, individuals torture one another. Arguments and fights happen all the time between husband and wife, parents and children, friends, and lovers.
Are you aware of a state of mind, a state of consciousness which is bondage free where you relate well with yourself and with others – be it friends, colleagues or relatives. A person who has not struck up the right relationship with himself, cannot have a relationship with anyone else.
There are some people who cannot live or sleep alone; they need someone with them, be it a person or a toy. Fear of loneliness and darkness etc., is simply because you do not know how to live with yourself; you haven’t had a communion with yourself. Man has time to relate with others through mms, sms, phone and email, but he never has the good fortune to meet his own self. When you lose out on having a relationship with yourself, how can you have an in-depth interaction with others?

I saw an advertisement of a textile company on television. The ad said that their fabric makes you a complete man. I really wondered how a piece of cloth could complete a man! But the reality of life is that this is how people live. Some feel a relative completes them, some say a certain amount of money completes them and yet others feel that social status completes them! They feel incomplete without the object of their desire. How untrue these statements are!  So untrue! But people love the lies which offer false consolation. A fool’s paradise is what everyone is looking for; no one wants a real paradise – the fool’s paradise comes cheap and without effort too! But does such a paradise really exist? It certainly does not!
Human life is a gift from god, from nature, then why is it so difficult for a human being to see life as a precious gift? The answer is very clear: they don’t have the eyes to see; ignorance and darkness have blinded their vision. To put it simply and harshly: people are handicapped. The mind which is full of cluttered thoughts, scores of unfulfilled desires and hundreds of grudges, cannot see what lies ahead.
Jesus used to say that if you have eyes then see and if you have ears then listen to me. I always wondered what kind of a statement this was! He was not dealing with throngs and throngs of blind and deaf people, then why did he say this. The eyes we have are made to see the truth; the ears we have are made to hear the inner song of divinity. But those eyes are different and those ears are different. In ancient Hindu scriptures, it is said that the master is the healer; he is a physician. We are all born with deformities and handicaps, and until and unless you find a physician you will not be normal.

The diseases of the mind are many; of them, dependence on others is the worst one for it makes people’s
life a living hell

The diseases of the mind are many; of them, dependence on others is the worst one for it makes people’s life a living hell. A wife is dependant on the husband – physically, emotionally, financially and socially. Children are dependant on the parents, parents are dependant on children, the list goes on and on. In all relationships, one is weak and the other is strong. The weaker one is dominated by the stronger one to serve his selfish ends. Until and unless an individual is free – totally free – he cannot live in peace. Our mind is always looking for some shoulder to lean on – this makes one vulnerable and weak.
Ask yourself this question: Do I want to remain vulnerable and tied to someone or something, to the extent that that thing or person becomes my master and then treats me like an animal? There is no weakness that cannot be overcome. The only thing needed is the will to overcome it and I say: ‘Yes, I can overcome it, without any doubt.’
Once I heard the story of a trader who halted at a serai – a type of an inn. As he was tying-up his camels, he found he was short of rope. Exhausted and too tired to look for rope, he sat wondering what to do. A kind man saw his plight and asked what the problem was. When told about the shortage of rope, he said that he had a piece of advice for the man. “Just move your hands in a tying motion around the feet of the camels and talk to them telling them that now you have tied them up so they should just sit there and relax for the night.” The trader was bewildered and wondered how this nonsense would work! “Trust me, it always works,” said the kind man. Disbelieving the man, the trader anyhow did as instructed. Then he went into the inn to rest for the night. Early next morning he went to see his flock. To his amazement the camels were all there – as he had left them – not one was missing!
He started untying the camels and ordering them to move. One by one the camels started getting up slowly – but not all of them – some just kept sitting. He shouted at them, yet they didn’t move. He whipped them; still they did not budge an inch. He was flabbergasted. What had happened to his camels? On seeing the kind man pass by, the trader rushed to him for help, “What have you done to my camels? They are not getting up. The kind man smiled and he said. “Did you untie them?” “Yes, of course I did. What kind of a stupid question is that?” said the trader. “Including the ones you tied with imaginary ropes?” The trader felt embarrassed recalling the last night’s episode. He said, “No, I didn’t untie those who were tied with imaginary ropes. But how does it matter? They were not real ropes.” The kind man laughed and said, “If imaginary ropes can tie, then they can hold back the camels too. So go to your camels and untie them the way you tied them – talking to them and moving your hands around their feet.” The trader did as instructed, and Lo! the camels moved and started walking.
Human minds are also tied with imaginary ropes, and you forget when you had bound yourself. Someone is tied to his house, wife, husband, children, money or status – hence he can’t move – move on the path of self-awakening. We have to untie these ropes to move above and beyond the body, ‘I’ consciousness, pettiness and all the diseases of the mind. To begin with, you have to understand where you have tied your mind; one has to look for the unseen ropes and be free of them.
When you are unbound, only then are you totally free; free to be what you are; free to express; free to interact without any expectations, slavery or silly conditionings.
Meditation teaches you to be with the self in such a way that you are richer, happier, and more content with yourself. Then you do not need others to feel happiness, joy or completeness.

Desire for sex is natural. It is neither right to fight your body and mind, nor should you feel depressed about the sex urge. Nature has created this body and its glandular systems. These glands start functioning around teenage and they release chemicals called hormones. In the brain, the hypothalamus and the pituitary control the functioning of these glands. The male hormone testosterone is produced by the testes and the female hormones progesterone and estrogen are produced by the ovaries.
The sex hormones help the body of a boy grow into a young man, and that of a girl grow into a young woman. This leads to an attraction for the opposite sex, and happens only after the release of these chemicals. Before this stage, boys and girls have no such feelings in their mind. As children approach the age of 12 or 13, the sex glands begin to get active. Nowadays, due to exposure to media and television, these glands have started functioning earlier – sometimes as early as the age of 9.
Even a highly sexual and pornographic mind, such as of those people who engage in mental visualisations and fantasies, or of a totally addicted person, loses the sexual urge if we inject a special type of hormone in the body. This happens because the body clock is taken back to the stage when there were no secretions of the sex hormones.
Whenever there is an excess secretion of these chemicals – for whatever reason, it leads to addiction. Any addiction, whether it is for tea, coffee or sex, is just an addiction. You cannot say that one addiction is better than the other – that an addiction to cigarettes is better than an addiction to liquor. Addiction means a stage of dependence in which one cannot survive without the fulfilment of the addiction. It is a stage when one thinks and dreams about the object of one’s addiction and when one lives with it and for it.
The first thing to understand is that our mind is connected to our body and to our brain. Changes in our body and mind affect us. For example, if you have not slept well at night, there will be a deficiency of melatonin and serotonin, the two chemicals released during sleep. These chemicals relax the body and the brain, and their deficiency will make you feel tense. Your mind will begin to oscillate, your circulatory system will get affected and blood pressure will be raised. The restlessness will affect you to such an extent, that you will need to take some drug to balance the paucity of the chemicals.
This is how those people who drink more and more liquor, provide the chemicals the body needs, although alcohol does not supply melatonin and serotonin. The chemicals in the liquor have a drug like effect and they soothe the nerves and numb the brain; somehow this is experienced as relaxation by many people. Any form of drug, cigarette and liquor soothes the nerves. It is a different story that these are all poisons that destroy the body systems. This is the additional effect of these drugs which no company is ever going to advertise; they will just talk about how good you are going to feel. Thumbs up! How cheerful you will be when you consume the poison of this drug!
Similarly, during the sex act, chemicals are released by the brain and this gives you a high feeling – a good feeling. Some tests have been done on rats and mice, in which the areas of the brain which are activated at the time of sex were injected and made numb. Once those portions were numbed, the rats and mice lost interest in copulation; they were just not interested any more.
So basically what our body seeks is to experience the good feeling. Some feel good with food, but for others sex remains the only medium which gives them a high; nothing else does. For sex, one is dependant on another person. As I had said earlier, these days you can not only order a pizza and a burger at home, but also sex! Even that is provided!
The question is, what does sex give? It gives a feeling of elation and a feeling of being appreciated – although the person doing the appreciating may be doing it for your money, for the security you provide or for the gifts which you will shower on that person! So the process of give and take goes on. Dependency does exist.
No wonder husbands and wives blackmail and exploit one another; they know that the other person is dependent on them for sexual release.  Actually, if you take away the sex, there won’t be a husband and wife relationship left. Most couples are together because of the children or society; or because they don’t know how to live alone. They benefit greatly from the relationship, and so do not want to lose out on services like house maintenance, laundry, cooking and entertainment etc. All these things provided by the spouse make you further bind with the spouse.
The question is, if sex could give real enjoyment, a real high, then it should last for a few days atleast. But it does not endure for even a few hours! It is an unending process. Again and again a person is entrapped.
First and foremost, never condemn yourself for having a sexual urge. Through all your physical and mental experiences, you gain something – or maybe you will gain something. Those who never get a chance to explore these things may still harbour the seeds of desire in their subconscious mind. They just dream, repress and suppress their feelings.  At the same time, exploring this territory should be done with an understanding of what you will get out of it. Ask yourself: Am I getting the happiness which I hope for?  How long will this happiness last? Will I get dependent on the other person? Will I lose my freedom? Is this the only way to feel a high? Is this the only door through which I will get physical and mental relaxation? Most husbands the world over have sex to release their tension and not for love.
I would like to point out that a man who is really in love with his wife, will need less sex, because his satisfaction will then come from a higher plane. Attention, appreciation and companionship are more important than carnal pleasure. I am not saying that there is something wrong with sex, that it is sinful or that it is something one should not indulge in.
If sex had been ugly, or even worse – if it were a sin or something to be guilty of, then our temples would not have sculptures of couples copulating. Have you ever seen the expression on their faces? Have you ever visited the Khajuraho or Konark temples? Outside the periphery of these temples, there are hundreds of such images on the domes; they are carved so meticulously and with so much time consuming labour. A huge amount of the kings’ money went into the making of these temples. Dharma, artha, kama, moksha – all four are a part of life. It cannot be said that artha is important and kama is not. If we deny these facts then we are just being hypocritical.
All that happens in society – all the money, the wealth, the businesses, the jobs, the education – just  go to the core of it and see what everyone is striving for. You will end up with just one answer – sex. If you have wealth, you can have the most beautiful girl or the most handsome man. Your very being, your physical being is because of sex. Can you deny that?
But your parents are not guilty of sex. They might be guilty of sex in general but not of your birth. Are you guilty of your daughter? You are joyful for your daughters. You are joyful for your sons. You are full of joy for your children and even more joyful for your grand children. They are all offsprings of the sexual act. You cannot say that it is bad, ugly or sinful. This point has to be understood very clearly.
Society at large is under the sheets; behind the wall everyone is in it, and outside the wall everyone condemns it. They condemn it and yet they are in it!  The more they are in it, the more vehemently they condemn it – this is a vicious cycle. Throw away the attitude that sex is bad, ugly and sinful. What is bad about it? It is your body and if you wish to explore it in any way, just go ahead and do so.
The only suggestion I would like to make is that you should know what you will gain, what will you lose and why you are indulging in it?  It is true that the body chemicals – the hormones, are active and therefore there is attraction between the sexes. The stimulants are there right in your head – the sex organ is none other than the brain – that is the real sex organ!
So this means that you need to make some changes in the brain if you wish to make some changes in your lifestyle. How can that be done?  There are many ways:
First, you have to balance your body and brain, so that you do the act when needed and you don’t think about it all the time. When you are hungry you eat food – you are never guilty of eating food, are you? If you have an itch in the throat, you cough – you never feel guilty about it. But if you have an urge for sex and you satisfy it, you feel guilty later on – whether you recognise the guilt or not is a different story.
When a husband and wife are in the sex act, all the scriptures, mahatmas and sadhus’ voices keep ringing at the back of their mind, telling them that what they are doing is bad. But the urge of the body is so strong that they cannot stop. It is somewhat like schizophrenia – based on all the discourses of mahatmas and books that you have read, the brain says don’t do it, but the body speaks a different language. Mind you, whenever there is a fight between the body and the brain, the body will win because animal instincts are more powerful than abstract thoughts and ideas.
Celibacy is just an idea which the mahatmas have given to people. That is not your experience; your experience is that when your body wants something, you have to get it. When a person is thirsty he will drink water from the most polluted pond – it has happened!  In difficult times, as during a war, what else to do?  When there is thirst and the body asks for water, people have been known to have drunk water from the ponds in which corpses were floating! The suffering from thirst, the pain was so great, that inspite of seeing the floating dead bodies, they just cupped their hands and drank the water!
The urges of the body are very strong. When hunger troubles you, when your body asks for food, no gyan will work – you need food by any means, anyhow. Normally you eat when you are hungry, you drink when you are thirsty, when you are exhausted you go to sleep and you are never guilty about it. But if you continuously think about food, then something is wrong. If you keep on eating and filling your stomach the whole day, then it is a disease. If a person washes his hands when they are dirty, it is ok for that is routine hygiene. But if he keeps on washing his hand a hundred or two hundred times, then it is an illness. It is a psychological disease if a person feels he is dirty, or the phobia of germs is prevalent in his mind; this needs to be treated. Similarly, healthy married couples do feel the real urge for sex.
Now this is something to be noted – distinguishing between the real and the unreal urge. The real urge comes from the body, and if you fulfil it, it is definitely as natural as a hungry man eating his food. But this urge can also be an unreal one. How does that happen? The society in which you live, your friends, associates, the woman you are seeing, the men whom you meet, the books which you read, the magazines which you flip through, every channel, every movie – all of them – titillate your senses and excite your mind. When the urge arises because of this titillation and excitement, I call it an unreal desire – it is not a natural desire.
You will have to see when it is a natural urge and when it is an unnatural one. When you have a natural urge, go ahead without the feeling of guilt or sin.  Marriage is a licence which society has given you; have sex as many times as you want to, but the moment you stray from your licensed spouse, the whole of society looks down upon you. This is bad, this is wrong, this is immoral! In a polygamous society, it is not considered wrong to stray, but as per Hindu law, and in monogamous relationships which are popular and widely practised today, it is considered wrong. I believe that if a man or a woman has an extra marital affair, it is not because they don’t get sex, but because they don’t get true love.
Understand that sex can never fulfil your mind – love can. Love should be the foundation of marriage. The more deeply you are in love with your spouse, the lesser is the need to stray. When a man and a woman do not appreciate one another, do not attend to each other’s needs, do not gel at the mental level, do not have similar choices, then there is sure to be trouble. Some people simply live with their situation; others move away. But this damages the institution of marriage.
There are many things to be considered. First: identify the real and natural urge. How to do that? Well, you need to discipline your brain and body, and to do that, yogic asanas are the perfect solution. When you do sarvangasana – the shoulder stand, blood rushes to your brain as your feet are up and head is down. Due to gravity, the blood rushes to the brain. The most important gland which is the master computer of the body, the hypothalamus, is in the brain. With this asana, fresh supply of blood and oxygen is carried to the brain nourishing the hypothalamus and the pituitary. The hypothalamus begins to work properly and it orders the right amount of chemicals to be released. Once this happens, you feel the sex urge only when needed and not otherwise.
Second: the way to balance the glandular system is to do pranayama. When you practice pranayama, your mind will be soothed, relaxed and cool. You won’t feel excited even on seeing an attractive woman; you won’t be titillated; titillation will have an effect only when you are ready for it. Sometimes, if you tickle a person, they are in peels of laughter, but there are others who roll on the ground at the mere sight of a tickling gesture. Just moving the fingers is enough for them to say, “don’t do it”!
Often people play with young children; they tickle them and walk holding their two fingers. They walk their fingers on the baby’s arms saying, “Here I am coming”, and even before you reach the forearm the child is laughing and pleading with you to stop. But as the child grows older, the same act will not have the same effect and could well evoke the response: “Papa! Grow up! What are you doing?”
The same rules apply to scantily clothed girls who show their bodies in such a way that it turns any man’s mind- just as a woman’s mind may be affected on seeing a half naked man who has a beautiful and muscular body. But this titillation can happen only when you are ready to be titillated. Let me say this very clearly: I do not condemn even titillation, but it has to have some objective.
In the sexual act, it is not that you lose just semen in ejaculation, but you also lose something more than that called ojas -  energy. It is not the semen which creates the baby, but the ojas in the semen which creates the baby.  This ojas can be used to make progress in your spiritual development.
Every food you eat carries a hidden energy in it. Our body has to digest the food and our intestines have to absorb the nutrients which go to the liver and from there to the blood and thence to the entire body. Our seers who understood this phenomenon, suggested that this energy should not be wasted for whimsical reasons, but should be conserved. The more you conserve it, the more energetic you grow and your capacity to do sadhana also increases. This energy also enhances your concentration and attention levels. The reason why the rishis suggested sexual abstinence was to conserve ojas, and not in order to suppress the sexual urge. The idea was not to suppress sexual energy but to sublimate it.
It is important to understand the sexual energy in order to manage it well. Deep down if the mind is insecure, then this insecurity can become a reason for excessive sexual behaviour. If you did not receive real love and comfort from your mother in childhood, then this can give rise to excessive sexual behaviour of the mind. If you have any kind of inferiority complex, it can also give rise to an overly sexual behaviour. If you were exploited or tortured during childhood, even this can lead to excessive sexual behaviour. There are multiple reasons and that is why we need to understand our mind; we need to go deep into our mind.
Every time the urge arises, do not condemn yourself, rather try to understand from where it is rising.
Our mind is a deep, dark and mysterious cave where millions of ghosts reside – the ghosts of our past memories. We are not very comfortable facing these ghosts, and that is why we watch television, we spend time with friends but do not like to invest any effort in studying the mind. We just do not want to face the complexities of our mind; this compounds the problem.
Now, how to manage the sex urge, whether natural or unnatural, real or unreal?  One way is to indulge in sexual intercourse; the second way is to masturbate; the third way is to suppress the urge by chiding yourself, taking a cold shower or going to a temple and expressing regret for having fallen again. Then there is a fourth way also – it is a particular technique given by Tantra to all aspirants who wish to work on controlling the sexual urge – the Ashwini mudra with kumbhak.
Ashwa means horse. Ashwini mudra is actually taken from a natural act performed by horses. Have you ever ridden on horseback?  Have you seen a horse defecating?  It moves its anus – actually it pushes out its rectum and you can see a layer of pinkish muscle. The horse pushes its rectum out of the body once it has defecated; when it has thrown the faeces out of the body, it pushes out the rectum, moves it and then pulls it in. This is called Ashwini mudra.
So with the practice of Ashwini mudra, you can develop control over the muscles in the lower regions of the body around the anus. The exercise is done as follows: you squeeze your anus, contract it, and then relax it in the first part of the mudra. In the second part you repeat the exercise with breath control – when you inhale you relax and when you exhale you contract – proficiency comes with practice.
Initially you should concentrate on the first part which is rather easy, and once you have mastered it then practice with the breath. Remember that you contract while exhaling and relax when inhaling. When you inhale, relax; contract with breathing out.
In the third part, you contract the anus while exhaling and hold your breath for a count of 3 and then relax. Inhale and exhale, contracting while exhaling. When you breathe out, hold your breath out – one, two, three. With time and practice, you can increase the retention period and can even take it to a count of 5 and then 10 – but it should be done very comfortably with no stress or strain.
This ability to retain your breath and contract your anus muscle will control the urge for sex – this is the golden mantra. Whenever  the urge arises – whether real or unreal – at that time if you begin to focus and start doing  the exercises in sequence, within 15 minutes, not only will your urge be gone but you will feel like meditating more – you will feel like sitting for some more time. Your mind gets relaxed and so does the body.
We should not ever fight with the body or the mind. If there is an urge for sex, it is no big issue, for every issue has a solution which can be learned and focussed on. So at the level of our mind we need to understand and respect it. Actually, the more you resist it, the more you get trapped in it, because anything that makes you feel guilty also gives you the joy of breaking the rules of society.
There is no fun in taking your wife out for dinner; it is more exciting to take your girlfriend out. Even the most lecherous person fears being seen, hence no one ever announces in the drawing room in the presence of friends and relatives that the last time he went to Singapore on a business trip, he had three prostitutes! No one ever announces this; no one ever boasts of this. Even the most lecherous and libidinous person will hide this.
We need to know and understand that sex is not the enemy; sex is not a sin; sex is not a shameful act that should lead to guilt. It needs to be appreciated that nature has given this to us and it is the reason for the entire procreation and recreation. Sex is not a means of releasing tension – for that you should do Yog-Nidra – it is indeed very relaxing! Sex should not be a means of releasing your frustrations either. It is and can be beautiful provided you know and understand what it is; provided you manage it with awareness; provided you are deeply in love with your spouse.
A loveless relationship is a sin. The problem is that in our society relationships are not based on love but on money, prestige and status – these three are most important – then comes the shakal [looks] and akal [intelligence] of the boy and girl. If the boy is a walking hippopotamus but has money, there are many girls who will not refuse him. Their attitude is that it is fine to marry someone like that, no problem at all; once married they plan to make the poor chap slim down. You too must have seen some weird matches – in fact they are no match at all, but the families get them married. Now after the marriage they are expected to love one another! How is that possible? I find it very weird!
But our ancestors had made a different system. They would get the boy and girl married at an early age but keep them apart. Immediately after the marriage ceremony the girl was taken to her parents home and then the entire society and family would pester and tease the boy reminding him that his spouse was at her parents’ home.  “Don’t you want to meet her?” Their bodies would be growing and their hormones raging. That is how psychologically they were made to like one another and to want to be with one another. This distance created the attraction. After another ceremony, when the girl was finally brought to her husband’s home, the boy was lusting and waiting for her.
Again, this is a drama which has been planned by society and families. I have nothing against arranged marriages but I do have some issues with it. Loveless marriages can never satisfy; love has to be there. If there is love in an arranged marriage then it is fine. Some amount of effort is needed on the part of the husband and wife to understand one another in order to seek and create room for compatibility – to be able to appreciate one another’s qualities, to ignore the errors and mistakes of the other person, to not condemn the spouse – appreciation will change the partner. These are important things. To manage the urges of the body and to be in a position to distinguish the real urge from the unreal one, yogasana and pranayama especially ashwini mudra with kumbhak, will pave the way for a very healthy married life.
Life with a dumb person can be hell – but marriage can be a great pleasure trip, an enjoyable experience once there is compatibility – for which one has to work for it won’t happen on its own. You have to work at it and the more you work with understanding and with an agenda, the more quickly will you see the results.

Breathing is life, but how little we know about it! For example, do you know that you use only one nostril at a time for breathing? At any point in time, either the right or the left nostril will be working. Test it out now. Place a finger half an inch below your left nostril for a few seconds and then under your right. You will now which one is working at that moment. Amazing, isn’t it?
And now read on and learn more. Do you know the active nostril changes at regular intervals (approximately every one and a half hours) during the day? And for a short time, both nostrils come into play together, for a period which is called the sandhi kaal, and this remains for ten to twelve breaths. Have you ever wondered why we have two nostrils instead of one? Breath can easily pass through one passage but we have two! The reasons are much deeper then of basic design alone.

As per the ancient scripture of Swar Yoga, there are three psychic channels in the human body, namely ida, pingala and sushumna. The right nostril is the channel of solar energy and the nadi that flows through it is called pingala, whereas the left is the channel for lunar energy and is called as ida. When both the nostrils have an equal flow, then for a very short time the central channel which is called sushumna awakens. Influencing the channels or nadis is the key technique of Swar Yoga. Swar Yoga teaches that the dominance of each nostril during breathing changes regularly. By inhaling strongly through the nose, one can find out which nostril is dominant at a particular time, as one will feel the cooling effect of the airflow inside that nostril. The nadis ida and pingala terminate in the left and right nostril respectively, and are activated when the corresponding nostril is dominant. The central sushumna is activated when both nostrils operate simultaneously, which usually happens only for a short while when the transition from one nostril to the other takes place and also at dawn and dusk. The periodic alternation of the nostrils balances the entire system. Ensuring that this balance is not disturbed is the basic objective of Swar Yoga. The dominance of the nostrils is strongly affected by the movements of the planets and especially by that of the moon.
Each nostril, when it operates independently, influences the body chemistry in a different way. When both nostrils operate simultaneously, the body chemistry also alters so as to make meditation rather than worldly activity appropriate to engage in. According to Swar Yoga, the right nostril, being solar or heating in character, increases acidic secretions, whereas the left nostril, being lunar or cooling, increases alkaline secretions. Both right and left nostrils are connected with the opposite sides of the cerebral hemispheres and the olfactory lobe. The nose is in direct contact with the hypothalamus by its link with the olfactory lobe of the brain. The hypothalamus is a part of the limbic system, associated with emotions and motivation.
The nostrils, by means of the process of respiration, are connected with the neuromotor responses, and thus with the autonomic nervous system. These neuromotor responses influence the hemispheres of the brain and the primary activity of the brain, which is chemical. Neurotransmitters are the brain’s chemical messengers. They influence all body functions. Through a network of sensory nerves in the nose, the nostrils are connected to subtle nerves. An EEG was done by Dr Khalsa in San Antonio USA, where the brain was wired with electrodes, and an ultra sound was also done to see if any changes occur when the flows are different. It was observed that when the flow is in the left nostril, the right side of the brain lights up, and when in the right, then the left part of the brain is more active.
One of the techniques of Swar Yoga is to check whether the nostril dominance is in accord with the planetary cycles, and if necessary to correct it accordingly. This would prevent psychological and physical problems. It is especially important to do this every day at sunrise, so that one starts the day in harmony with the planetary energy of that day. Another important aspect of Swar Yoga is to adapt special activities to nostril dominance or vice versa. Breathing through the left nostril influences the cortical activity on the right side of the brain more than the left and vice versa. The twin hemispheres of the brain have highly specialized functions. The right hemisphere, stimulated by left nostril dominance, is connected to feminine, lunar, emotional, visual and more peaceful activities. The left hemisphere, stimulated by right nostril dominance, is connected to masculine, solar, rational, verbal and more energetic activities.
The ancient yogis of India knew all this and much more. They knew the intimate connection between breath and mind. For example, when your mind is angry watch your breathing – it will be disturbed. And similarly, if you hold your breath for long, your mind will get agitated.  The yogis were trying to get some degree of control over the mind and body. Swar Yoga advises changing the dominant nostril at the first sign of any physical or mental disturbance. Thus the active side of the body is changed and glandular secretions re-establish balance.
For example, in fever one should plug the operating nostril with a cotton ball and keep it plugged until body temperature becomes normal again. Chronic indigestion can be cured by cultivating the habit of eating only when the right nostril is dominant. The same goes for eating and defecating in case of constipation. Stress created by hard work and physical labor can be cured by lying on the right side, and breathing through the left nostril for 25 to 30 minutes. If you want to alter an unwanted emotional state, just breathe through the congested nostril for a while. Swar Yoga techniques can also be used for healing others, for creating favorable conditions in life, to foretell death, and in determining the gender of an unborn child. The techniques of Swar Yoga have been tested and tried by yogis and their lineages for a very long time. If only you would be aware of the goodness and beneficiary changes that can be brought to your life, you could maneuver your life as per your needs and requirements.
The most powerful application of Swar Yoga lies in meditation and control over the mind. Since the mind is very subtle and near impossible to grasp, the yogis figured out how to use this connection between the breath and the mind. By controlling the breath, they were indirectly able to influence the mind. Swar Yoga can be practiced by one and all, but before you go deeper into it, you have to know the basics of Pranayama.
There is a lovely fable of a minister who was punished by the king with imprisonment in a tower. He called his faithful wife to help him escape, telling her to get a beetle, two drops of honey, a ball of slender and fine thread, a long twine and then a long rope. When the bewildered wife arrived with these things, he told her to moisten the antennae of the beetle with the honey, tie the fine thread to its body and to leave it at the bottom of the tower wall. Smelling the honey ahead, the beetle slowly crept up the wall until it reached the minister. He then got hold of the end of the thread and asked his wife to tie the twine to the other end. He then pulled up the twine and then the rope using which he escaped. The idea is to understand how to manage the links between the gross (rope, body), the subtle body (thread, breath), and the very subtle body (scent of honey, mind).
Understanding one’s breath opens up so many channels of growth and evolvement. When you need to work hard, teach, discipline, eat or defecate, check if the solar energy (pingala) is flowing. If yes, then the actions done will bear results. If you have to do brain work, then it your lunar energy (ida) that should be flowing – this will help you in all studious jobs, meditation, creative arts, music, dance, paintings, studying etc. The change from ida to pingala is very subtle, so if you can keep a check on your breathing, you will be able to observe it.
There are ways and means to change the breath by will, and this art can be learnt from a guru who is proficient in this art.

If sex is normal and natural, then why have gurus, mahatmas and prophets denounced it? Why have they said no to it?

 This is a gross misrepresentation, a wrong interpretation of facts. They have not denounced sex – I do not think any of them have done so. Yes, Buddha and Mahavira did but they had a reason for it; those who did not also had a reason for it. There is nothing which the seers say that is unreasonable; every master has his own individual approach to the subject.
Sometimes it is the inability of the disciples to clearly decipher what the Master actually means, therefore they interpret his statements according to their limited understanding. There is often a big difference between what is said and meant by a master and what is understood by the disciples! What is meant is not really understood most of the time. And what is not said is taken literally as meant! It is very difficult to monitor and control what people are going to make of the words spoken by the Master.
The mating cycles of animals are seasonal and controlled by nature. Animals do not mate throughout the year; in human beings there is no fixed season or cycle. Though the sex hormones are controlled by the body, they are not sensitive to seasons, and so human beings have the flexibility and freedom to choose the time and duration of the sex act. Human beings have an highly evolved brain – a tool animals lack. Humans have the liberty to choose when, where and how much sex they would like to have.
Now the question is: What does sex do for you? This is something which must be understood before you condemn or glorify sex; before you reject it or extol its virtues. What does it give you? – This is a very important question. 99.9 percent human beings have sex because their body demands it of them. It is not the mind, remember that it is the body that demands and requires sex! The glandular system of the human body is made in such a way that after the age of 12 – though this age limit is receding and is even 10 in some cases – but 11 to 12 years is the average global age when the hormones begin to be secreted in the human body.
In the female body it is estrogen and progesterone, and in the male it is the hormone testosterone which is secreted in the sex glands. There are major glands working right from your brain to your genitals. There are multiple glands which function and when these chemicals are released in the body, it goes through a change; the mind too goes through a tumultuous change.
Before these hormones are activated, five or six year-old children are happy to be in one another’s company irrespective of sex. But today, because of the early and excessive exposure to media, children are aware of their physical differences much before their time, even when they are not mentally ready to handle the information. Till the age of 5 to 6 years, if you put children together, they may get inquisitive about each other’s body – just to see the differences – but they don’t get sexually excited. Why is that? Because there are no hormones yet; there are no chemical secretions in the bodies which excite them. At that time there is an absolute absence of sex or sexuality in the child’s body.
As the body grows, the glands begin to function and secrete hormones; the body begins to undergo changes. In our brain, there are areas which assist the chemicals to raise urges in the body, and when this urge is present, it needs to be satisfied; and it will be satisfied one way or the other. In the past, even in pre-historical times if I may say, there was no society, no religion, no morality, and men and women lived exactly as any animal would. Whenever they felt the urge or the excitement, there was no restriction on them, there was no moral binding and so they would copulate anywhere and anytime. Slowly various aspects of civilization entered the picture – morality, ethics and social discipline.  When, how, what, why, where: all these things came into the picture.
The urge for sex is perfectly natural. We never denounce anyone who says he is hungry; well, if they are hungry you serve food. But if someone says I am sexually hungry? No one will dare to say it in public! He might be the most lecherous or libidinous person, but he would never ever express it verbally. Given the situation, such people will not verbalize their need, but their mind and body will be highly stimulated.
What does sex give? Momentary pleasure and momentary release of stress! What gives satisfaction? Is it the act or is it the seminal release which gives satisfaction? What exactly happens? I am talking from the physiological point of view. Keep aside spirituality, religion and all that stuff for the time being. The physical touch and intimacy is there, but we are not talking about intimacy or companionship. We are talking about the hardcore truth of sexual release. What happens at that time?
An electric current flows from the hypothalamus to the genitals at the moment of ejaculation – and time stops for a fraction of a moment – this is what everyone is looking for. Everything before that is just preparation, but the whole essence of the sexual act can be summarized into this one point. It is a high point – but after this one high point there is a big low. The big low is that this isn’t going to give you satisfaction for long and the mind will again hanker after that moment. It isn’t going to give you real contentment, and the mind which receives stimulation from so many areas again develops a false hunger for sex which keeps on growing.
Our scriptures say that at the time of seminal discharge, it isn’t just the semen which is lost but also ojas. When translated into English, ojas means the cosmic bio-energy, the energy which makes your body function. It is that unseen energy which runs the bio-electrical forces in your body. And this body is just like a machine which needs fuel; this fuel comes from ojas.
Ojas is formed partly from the nutrition that comes from food, and largely from the pranic force. It is not just the food but the cosmic pranic energy which runs your whole system. The six major systems cannot function if there is no ojas in the body.
At the moment of release, it is not just ojas and semen which is lost, but also ojas the bio-fuel of the body. This depletes the energy of the body and the mind.
What is the mind? It is the invisible part of your body. And what is the body? We can say that it is the gross aspect of the mind. With pranic energy, the mind and body are able to function in conjunction. Sexual contact might give you a release at the physical level, but what you lose is something which is unseen, but very valuable. That is the reason why all the Masters talk about understanding the urge, understanding the fact, understanding what you will get and understanding what you will lose in the act of sex.
The yogis went far ahead of this level too. I am talking about those yogis who understood the functioning of the pranic energy in the body; who of their own will could stop their heartbeat and pulse; those who had mastered the body in such a mind boggling way. They gave a very deep thought to the subject of sex. A man needs sex for that is how nature has made man. It is not just for procreation – there are some hidden purposes too. In itself, sex is beautiful, but what you lose is so big that it cannot be compensated by anything else.
This pranic energy is the most important thing in your spiritual practice and the yogis went a step ahead. They said: sex gives the mind a single moment of happiness – can that moment be created without the physical act? And the answer is…. Yes! The answer is yes! And from this ‘yes’ the whole mechanism was explored and amazing methodologies were born. A male doesn’t need a female and a female doesn’t need a male for that one moment of happiness  – just by using their own pranic energy they can experience that moment when this electric current is passed from the hypothalamus to the genitals – without losing semen an orgasmic experience can be gained.
Understand that sex is not centered in the genital organs but in the brain. It is not between the legs; it arises in the brain. If one knows how to handle the brain waves then anything is possible. No woman or man can give an orgasmic experience such as the one experienced by oneself without a partner. The Vama Marga Tantra describes beautiful methods for couples to experience their first ever experience of divinity in meditativeness. This experience is only possible between a couple who are deeply in love and who are deeply dedicated to one another. With training, a perfect moment can be achieved between an evolved couple.
Shiva’s Vigyan Bhairav Tantra Sutra talks about it and in my understanding this is the oldest and the first original scripture where hundred and twelve methods of the inward journey have been explained by Shiva to his beautiful consort and disciple Parvati. Even in Yogini Tantra Shastra, there are methods which were taught to men and women – ways to transcend animal sex – without denouncing sex and without labeling it as bad or as a sin. Sex is neither bad nor ugly; sexuality is. Shiva has described sex in such a beautiful way that it has got a spiritual color.
No wonder we have temples like Khajuraho and the caves of Ajanta and Ellora, where sex is depicted as being godly in its purity. These beautiful places are symbols of our intelligent forefathers who never condemned sex, yet today people view these places as symbols of erotica. And I see it as a sign of humanity’s journey; different planes through which every individual consciousness has to pass; from the physical plane to the mental, and from the mental to the spiritual, and finally to a plane where there is no label at all – where there is total shoonyata; total silence.
Coming back to the aspect of physical release, actually this depletes you of your pranic energy. The seers gave a serious thought to this. They felt that if it is a matter of only one moment, then why can it not be achieved without the physical act? Then there would be no dependence for men and women – every man is a slave to his wife and every wife is a slave to her husband – just for sex. If we eliminate the urge for sex, which can be done very easily – one injection of particular chemicals will make you a perfect celibate for a small period of time – then you will not get excited even if the most curvaceous woman is standing stark naked in front of you, because your brain will not react to the visual.
Yoga masters have devised methods by which you can experience the high moment for not just a small time but for hours together; you can remain in the orgasmic state without going into the physical act and without losing your pranic energy. On the contrary, your pranic energy and ojas levels are elevated.
But people who could not understand this, knew that it is difficult to deal with weaknesses of the mind and the attractions of the physical world. The easiest way was to simply denounce sex and to run away from it. They labelled it as bad, but it is definitely not a sin. If you indulge in sex without understanding it, then you are just an animal. Once more I will say that it’s not bad, it’s not ugly, and it’s not sinful.
All those who have denounced it were unwise. There have been contradictory reactions to this whole thing – there have been people who have denounced it and there have been people who have glorified it. Two contradictory and opposite definitions have been given to it. One says: Leave it, throw it, it is dirty, it is sin! Another school of thought says: It is the most beautiful thing, have as much as you can.
People’s lives, their whole thinking and life style revolve around sex. Clothes, jewellery, cars, houses, jobs: man is striving so hard to attain all this to impress women or win women. Why does a woman spend hours and hours on looking beautiful? The only objective is sex.
This is their only avenue for stress release, appreciation, attention and happiness. They have firsthand information on it in their subconscious from scores of previous lives, which they may not be able to recollect at the conscious level. And the urge to be in that one moment is so huge that all the munis, mahatamas, sadhus and gurus denounce it; ordinary people too say, “Oh! It is bad!” And yet everybody ends up having sex. Sadhus make people take a vow that on particular days they will abstain, but somehow the vow is broken and then the guilt takes over! And out of guilt they end up giving huge donations to their religious institutions so that they are pardoned.
Every grown-up, every adult and every teenager should know what sex is all about. Every one should know and understand what sex is and what it will give you.
A young boy was very frustrated because his girlfriend had ditched him. He wanted her but she was not interested. Then one day he dared to propose to her and she straightaway rejected him. He came to me and said that he was going through hell; the girl he loved had rejected him; there was no hope for him and he felt like committing suicide. I said, “You are a young man and it is natural for you to be attracted to a girl, but why do you think that there will be only one girl in your life? You are handsome and you will get many girls!” When I said this, he started believing my words. “Oh! Gurumaa is saying this! Maybe it’s a prophecy that I will get many girls!” Therefore he started listening to me more attentively!
I said, “There is something lacking in you, you don’t have the aura which can attract females.” He said, “How can I get it?” “Well,” I said, “You need to do certain things.” By chance at that time I had Hatha Yoga Pradipika with me. In it there is a shloka which says that those who regularly practice Ashtanga Yoga, Kapalbhati and Ujjayi Pranayama, get a moon-like glow on their faces and they shine like love; like God! They drink divine ambrosia and their body glows such that even heavenly woman are attracted to them – to the man who has mastered his body and mind. I said, “Read this.” Now this was a game, a scriptural endorsement of what I had said. I said, “For now if you do this, you will begin to develop an aura and then you will shine; the day you shine, there will be a line of girls for you.”
He started practicing what I had said. I knew the whole game inside out, but he never knew what my game was! After a month or so, he came to me again and said, “Gurumaa, I have something to say: “Now that I am doing as you have instructed, I am very much at peace and now my heart is not troubled. I also feel very energetic. But the problem is that if I go deeper into this, I will not have any urge left for any girl! I said, “Well! That is my whole objective – that you do not become a slave of any woman for sex!”
Once you have tasted the nectar of divinity, you can no longer behave like an animal; you cannot remain a libidinous person who just thinks and dreams of sex alone.
I would like to explain the psychology of women: a woman is more satisfied with a man who treats her at the level of the mind and does not just use her body. Most wives hate their husbands; they feel they are wanted just for sex – as if they are just a body; they are used and abused. Husbands and wives just use one another, so hatred begins to brim deep in their minds and that is one of the reasons for unreasonable bickering and fighting. They can’t really identify or understand the cause of their hurting one another, as they do not have a deep understanding of their mind and emotions.
It is hard to find a husband and wife who don’t fight or who don’t accuse one another. For any small error, mistake or mishap in their life, they begin to accuse one another. If a child falls sick, or fails in a school exam, they accuse one another.
A woman needs to be treated with love and respect. Every man wants to be appreciated loved and respected; if he sees that his wife is loving only when she needs money, then how can he be happy? If a woman sees that the whole day her husband ignores her and abuses her, but at night he wants sex, she won’t see this as an act of love – on the contrary she will hate him all the more for it. A woman will be satisfied with a man who treats her at the level of her mind, who gels with her emotions and listens to her thoughts. Sex is a basic need of the body, as love is the need of the mind. Loveless sex is equivalent to rape; today the law too recognizes this and they call it marital rape, where the husband forces himself on his wife against her wish. Human beings want love, attention, understanding and companionship – sex is just one part of the relationship.
Loveless sex is a trap and most people are ignorantly bound in it. Say someone puts you in confinement, you are imprisoned in jail – but it is a fantastic jail. It’s a palace with all luxuries and comforts. Once I was the guest of a rich person who was staying in Burj-al-Arab, one of the most luxurious eight-star hotels in the world. Think of richness, luxury, opulence and it was there. A most fantastic sea-view, all bathroom fittings in gold, a personal butler – the list goes on and on. But what if you are imprisoned in this opulent room; you are provided with the best of champagne, food and clothes, but you cannot leave, you cannot go out of the room?
Sex at the level of the body is just like a jail; you get tempted and you get relief, but you cannot come out of it. Understand that your body has a limit, but the mind has no limit – that is why people remain mentally dissatisfied, even if they go through scores of partners.
Guru says don’t indulge in this futile thing; it isn’t going to give you anything at all, it will just extract your energy, your life and your aura. The time which could have been devoted to understanding your inner journey is being wasted. Do not waste it! Sex was not condemned per se, but for the waste of the quality time spent on it that could have been used to achieve a much higher purpose.
Do you have any idea how much time people spend thinking about sex? Just think of how much time people spend looking for it. Hours and hours of precious life are being given to grooming yourself and decorating yourself so that you attract the opposite sex’s attention. The young in mind and body spend hours and hours beautifying themselves, so that they may get the best life partner. And yet, are those who have, really happy with their life, or are even they looking for something else?
They aren’t, because the mind is still going to run the race. A mind obsessed with sex, will miss so much in life. Sex is not bad but the obsession with sex is wrong. Sex can be a useful tool but it can’t be made the sole objective of life. Sex is a lower rung on the staircase of life; one has to keep on moving higher and higher to experience fullness and to attain evolvement.
Most of the Masters in India were married. There were others like Narada, Sanatan, Sant Kumar, Ashtavakra and Shukdev, who chose to remain unmarried. But it was just a personal choice and they never made it mandatory for every seeker. The majority of the Masters were married and some of them were even married more than once. Yagnyavalka married twice and lived happily with both wives, till a time came when he wished to remain alone. He asked his wives to divide the property amongst themselves, but one of them said that his true knowledge was the treasure in which she was interested, and so she would go along with him and he would have to share with her whatever he gained. But the other wife was happy with material possessions so she stayed back.
Many gurus and yogis like Ramakrishna and others were married. One’s guruship is not endangered because one in married. Those who understood the mechanisms of the mind and the body knew how to use them; they had the eyes to see beauty in all phases of life. Beauty is very fragile, you can destroy it with your ignorance, and you can also create it and see it in the dirtiest thing. As such, nothing is dirty and nothing is beautiful – how you receive and perceive it, present and use it is what makes sense of it. The Masters knew what sex can give and what it cannot give. These were the only people who could actually use sex appropriately. Those who don’t know are just led by their urges; they indulge in it and the act happens unconsciously. In Vama Marga Tantra, sex is one of the tools for meditation. No normal man or woman can even think of attempting these methods as they were designed for spiritual practioners, those who had gone beyond the urges of mind and body, who had attained purity, integrity and high levels of concentration. Today the entire Western world knows Tantra as the Eastern art of lovemaking; it is a total devaluation of Tantra.

Sex is, was and will remain the biggest issue in men and women’s lives. It is craved and yet it is taboo! It is desired, hated, dreamed about, grabbed forcefully, wished for and condemned – all at the same time! This is the eternal truth about sex! Man is bound in it and bound by it; he cannot live without it, and yet all religious authorities, gurus, swamis and yogis collectively condemn it! But humanity is obsessed with it! What a dilemma for poor human beings!
We need to understand that this is a basic instinct given to all beings – animals, birds, mammals, reptiles and humans – by nature. Nature is a creation of god and god is great! Is that not true? If your answer is yes, then nature cannot be impure, and its creations – the body and sex are not impure either.
Sex is the energy to create a new life; sex is a source of enjoyment too. Human beings understand the language of touch and they desire a loving and affectionate touch. A baby sleeps peacefully when stroked lovingly by its mother. The hand of a husband, wife, friend, colleague, mother or father, placed reassuringly on the shoulder is always a morale booster. When a loved one pats our head, Oh! we love it. Human beings understand the language of touch. Touch gives a physical expression to our innermost feelings. We love to be held, cuddled and embraced. We have to accept this first and then we can move deeper into the subject.
Men and women are complementary to one another, therefore a mutual attraction occurs. With the growth of the body and mind, the surging hormones lead to attraction. No one teaches a boy and a girl to like one another or to want one another; to woo one another or to go on a date etc. Rather, society in general wishes to keep them apart, as parents’ fear that something wrong may happen. Well, what new will happen that the parents themselves have not done? Even so, girls in a family grow under the watchful eagle-eye of parents, brothers and other family members. But can they really be stopped? The truth is that boys and girls will remain boys and girls, and therefore the more they are denied proximity, the more they will be attracted to one another.
At one time, it was during college that girls and boys would have their first sexual encounter, but now it is happening as early as the school level. Today children have better information even without their parents or teachers explaining what sex is.
Mr Dutta thought it was the right time to teach his growing younger son Amit, all about the birds and the bees. It was difficult for the father to explain everything to his young son, so he tried his level best to use the right words, diluted the terms, and attempted the right usage of sentences in order to explain this natural phenomenon occurring between the opposite sexes. After two hours of explaining, exhausted and flushed he asked Amit, “Have you understood?” The son nodded a big yes and went out to his elder brother Rohit who was playing in the ground. “What happened inside?” asked Rohit. Amit said, “Nothing much, what we were doing with the girls yesterday behind the cars, well, father says the birds and the bees do the same.”
Whenever society says no to something, they are actually giving a hidden invitation to do that very thing. A mental attitude is formed that it must be something good and exciting that is allowed to adults alone and not to children and teenagers. Slowly children learn in their own Columbus-style explorations what it is that is being kept a secret from them. Earlier this information came from older friends, nowadays it is the internet where all information is available, and lest you forget, on the net pornography is shown in its true colors.
I ask all readers, can you say that you or your children haven’t watched a pornographic site? Just surprise your children by suddenly appearing behind them when they are doing their so called school project on the computer. Today, when pornography is available right on your mobile, how can you shut your eyes to this and how can you stop your children from experiencing it before time? Yes, it is a social norm at least in India, that sex is acceptable only after marriage. So girls are being educated in order to become eligible for marriage to the right boy. And get married for what? You know it, don’t you?
Sometimes boys and even girls break this rule and have their fun. Married people are definitely into it; the unmarried are waiting for their license. On the other hand there are monks and nuns living in ashrams and monasteries who have been asked to shun sex totally. They do try hard, very hard! So hard that they begin to have nightfalls – aka wet dreams! The bolder ones masturbate and the even bolder ones look for a mate. Then there are still others who feel so guilty that the next morning they will pray all the more ardently, telling their beads with vigour and feelings of guilt. Monasteries do not allow spicy food – food that incites sexual feelings. Men and women are kept apart so that no accidents happen. Day and night sermons are given that sex is bad, filthy, a sin and hated by God.
Every other day we hear stories of gurus sexually exploiting their disciples, and whether or not these stories are true, everyone is ready to believe them, as people know from their first-hand experience that it is the most difficult thing to control oneself. Anyhow, church and temple authorities have been accused of sexual molestation; children are the targets of pedophile priests and gurus. All those who denounce sex have been found to be guilty of that which they speak against! So the bhogi – those who indulge in sex – and the tyagi – the renunciate – are both involved in it. In a way, all of society seems to be revolving around sex.
Why is society so conscious of fashion, dressing up, money, status, family and success? Well, it is for sex! Suppose you are holed up at home or marooned on an isolated island with no one around you, would you still dress up and show off your body, brains or money? Man can live without money, name and fame, but not without sex. No wonder children are produced even in poverty! They are just born accidentally!
If you analyze your mental attitudes, you will learn that their roots go deeper than the level of mere thought. All the roots of your attitudes lie in the primitive fountains: food, sex, sleep and self-preservation. More than anything else it is sex which is the most alluring and powerful root that triggers impulsive reactions in the body and mind. It is a strange dilemma of man. What can be done about this? First and foremost we need to understand that sex can’t be bad, otherwise god wouldn’t have created it. And if god has created it then there must be some purpose to it. Indeed, a purpose is there!
At the physical and mental level it is a great stress reliever and pleasure giver; procreation happens because of it. If your parents had not had sex then you wouldn’t have been born, right? So we were born because of our parent’s sexual activity. All avatars, gurus, yogis, devotees, bhaktas, scientists, poets, ordinary and extra-ordinary beings have been born of sexual activity. So indeed it is a good thing – right? Do you agree? Well! You should!
At the spiritual level it is said that when a mentally and spiritually evolved man and woman first had sex, it was the time when the first glimpse of beyond-ness was experienced. The first lightning experience of divinity happened in that moment. As the couple was highly intelligent, they started working on it, understanding, exploring what it was and what it meant. Maybe hereafter the existence of something beyond, an higher energy, an higher being – God – was realized. As per Hindu scriptures they were none other than Shiva and Parvati. This divine couple is adored and worshipped; their teachings are meditated upon. This happened many many kalpas ago – exactly when can’t be stated in chronological terms. There is a system in Vedic mathematics to understand how many trillion years are there in one kalpa – and this happened many kalpas ago. This story has traveled to us in time.
Our seers worked intensively to understand why the urge for sex is there, why man behaves in certain ways when he is around women. Animals have a fixed mating season but human beings have no fixed season; they are always involved in it. After years of observation they came to various conclusions which were not random but arrived at after a critical analysis of hundreds and thousands of men and women. They laid down certain rules to explore sex and also ways to sublimate it.
In Vedic times human life was assumed to be of one hundred years, and was divided into four ashrams or schools – brahmacharaya, grihastha, vanaprastha and sanyas. Girls and boys were sent to a gurukul to study subjects like astrology, mathematics, yoga, psychology and Sanskrit. While living in a pious environment, children were exposed to a rigorous discipline and higher learning. On completion of their studies, it was suggested that they marry a person of their choice. Many people live for sex, but when the opportunity comes they cannot enjoy it. To experience this enjoyment, a person needs inner strength and sometimes that is not there. Sometimes due to food habits, lack of rest or lack of quality sleep, the body is not coordinated with the mind. Then you find yourself incapable of some actions or of behaving correctly while performing the sexual act; this leads to apprehension. Gurukul trained people to be strong of mind and body and to lead a disciplined life.
Sex can be very harmful and unproductive if it is done without love. Some people do it like a physical exercise, but this is not a healthy way to approach sex. Your appetite for food is directly related to your body, but sex is not directly related to your body. Unless the thought or feeling comes into your mind, you cannot perform sex. Sexuality occurs in the mind first, and is then expressed through the body. The desire for food occurs in the body first and later affects the mind. Therefore our sages laid great stress on the importance of training the mind and the brain through various yogic postures and methods of dharana and dhyana to achieve the desired balance. A couple who is well educated and has meditated and served their masters, have all the required patience, tolerance, control and education about body and mind; one who has not trained the body cannot really enjoy sex.
Thus, for years before entering into matrimony, both were trained morally, physically and intellectually, so that when marriage took place, life would be enriched with beautiful colors. Sex between those who respect and love one another can be a great experience. And after twenty-five years of sexual experiences, both man and woman would outgrow the need for sex. But remember, the experience of sex for intelligent loving couples can give rise to the wisdom for them to come out of it.
Once they would cross the age of fifty, both would begin to prepare to hand over the family responsibility to the older son. They’d prepare to move from grihastha ashram to vanaprastha ashram, dedicating more time to sadhana. And if either of the partners would desire sex, then maybe they would revert to the guru and gurukul, to take up intensive and dedicated practices for the remainder of their life.
But we are living in a very different society where the ashram system is hardly practiced. This means that the full responsibility to train ourselves is ours. Sex begins from a thought in the head and then the brain, supported by glandular systems, arouses the body. If the mind is calm and the brain is balanced, then the urges won’t be there; it would be more like a system which is well managed and is used when a conscious decision to use it is made. Sex has to be experienced with wisdom and the knowledge that it won’t give permanent peace; it is just a temporary method to feel good.
It can’t give you ananda, not from this woman nor from that one; not from this man nor from that handsome hulk. Sex as such won’t last for more than a few minutes, so how can it give you long lasting happiness? If you still wish to – go ahead and enjoy.

Question: Can a good experience of sex give us the understanding to come out of it?

Answer: No, it won’t give the understanding to come out of sex; do not jump to conclusions. The whole world is sexed up, having loads of sex. Are they getting wiser and coming out of it? No, they are not. Wisdom may or may not come with direct experience. Sometimes highly evolved sages who had matured to the level of sublimation of sex, are born in their present life with wisdom, hence they do not have to go back to the same class of sex again.
But yes, they won’t condemn sex either; those who do so are definitely not wise. Wisdom and experience may happen side by side, or wisdom alone may be sufficient to come out of it. As long as sex is needed one should not deny oneself, but if it becomes an obsession, then something definitely needs to be done. As a dry leaf simply drops off the branch, similarly one day the sex urge wanes.

Question: Is sex a hindrance to spiritual practice?

Answer: No, sex isn’t a hindrance, but understand that if your mind thinks about sex compulsively or suppresses sex, then it is a hindrance. It is just like if you are hungry you eat food; eating is not bad but if someone keeps thinking about food – that is sick! If sexual thoughts are overpowering your mind, then how can you focus on anything else? If the mere sight of a woman or a girl is enough to arouse you, then there is a problem. Do not be sexually starved and do not treat sex at just the physical level. Sex minus love is animalistic where each partner is using the other for pleasure and release.
It amounts to treating a person like an object – no one likes that! When sex is the end purpose of a relationship, there will be frustrations, agitations and accusations. There will be a struggle to overpower one another. When husband and wife are wrestling with one another, then how can one come out of the need for sex? Sex should happen when they understand each other, love and respect each other – then sex can be beautiful and will help to move deeper in love. From mere copulation it will lead to a spiritual union. Human beings need love – not just sex or physical touch. Love satisfies the mind, sex doesn’t.

Question: How can we avoid thinking about sex?

Answer: You will think about it if you want to think about it. When you have nothing meaningful to do then sexuality will fill the space.  If your heart and mind is filled with music, creativity, poetry and prayer, can there be room for anything else? When you experience bliss from within, then sex won’t even come in your distant thoughts.
Man is looking for joy and happiness. If he knows where it is in its concentrated, truest and purest form – that is in divine love – then he will never ever be satisfied with sex alone, which has just the weakest ray of joy in it and yet seems so tempting to everybody.

Just for now, do not worry Just for now, do not be angry Honor life in all the ways Show gratitude for everything

What is Reiki?

Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by ‘laying on hands’ and is based on the idea that an unseen ‘life force energy’ flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s ‘life force energy’ is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy. The word reiki is made up of two Japanese words – rei which means ‘God’s Wisdom or the Higher Power’ and ki which is ‘life force energy’. So reiki actually means ‘spiritually guided life force energy’. Reiki is one of the more widely known forms of energy healing. Energy healing involves direct application of Chi for the purpose of strengthening the clients energy system (aura). Chi is the term used by Chinese mystics and martial artists for the underlying force of which the universe is made of. Mystics in all cultures have talked about the physical universe being made of an underlying form of something, much as modern physics research is now coming to understand that the universe is made of energy which is subject to (or affected by) thought. Just as modern physics says that this energy is affected by thought, the mystics also say that this underlying form is affected by thought, going as far as to claim that we create our own reality from our thoughts and those we share amongst us every day. Stop and reflect on this for a moment. Imagine the implication of the fact that the universe around us is made from energy and can be shaped and manipulated by thought.

I invoke the healing Buddha and the Master Spirits of Reiki. I ask that my channel be pure and clean. Without fear and with honor and love for all.

The Ideals of reiki happened to Dr Usui after years of meditation. These principles came in part from the five prinicples of the Meiji emperor of Japan, whom Dr. Usui admired. The Ideals were developed to add spiritual balance to his practice. The purpose is to help people realize that healing the spirit by consciously deciding to improve oneself is a necessary part of the reiki healing experience. In order for the reiki healing energies to have lasting results, the client must accept responsibility for his healing and take an active part in it. Therefore, the Usui system of reiki is more than just the use of the reiki energy. It must also include an active commitment to improve oneself in order for it to be a complete system. The Ideals are both guidelines for- living a gracious life and virtues worthy of practice for their inherent value:

The secret art of inviting happiness The miraculous medicine for all diseases Just for today, do not be angry Do not worry; be filled with gratitude Devote yourself to your work.
Be kind to people Every morning and evening, join your hands in prayer Pray these words to your heart Chant these words.

The power of energy is the reason for matter to exist. Thought is more powerful than any thing in the world. One thought can bring a revolution, transformation, upliftment. Can we really say that a thought which is not even visible to the eye can change the destiny of an individual, of society, of a country or of the whole world? Indeed it can!
Modern physicist say energy has formed the whole world and mystics said that this very energy which is inherent in the world can change form too. A thought can bring abouy a change in the body, as the body is nothing but a form of energy. Hindus called it ‘shakti’, the Chinese called it ‘chi’ and scientists call it ‘energy’. This is the implication of both quantum physics and ancient metaphysics. Could this make some diseases easier to explain, especially those which have no apparent physical cause? Could this make miraculous cures easier to explain? Today modern science accepts that 70% of human diseases are psychosomatic, i.e. the mind is responsible for the disease – therefore, until we cure the mind, the body cannot be totally healthy.
There was a research study done a couple years ago, which showed that prayer improves the health of those who are prayed for. The focus of intent in the prayer sends thoughts out in the form of ‘I wish such this to happen’. So, if the world is energy which is subject to the power of thought, then prayers must work (depending on how clearly and carefully you hold and elaborate on the prayer or thought). Remember this while practicing reiki or while praying.
Reiki is very easy to learn, very simple to use and beneficial for all. It is one of the many forms of healing through the use of natural forces which were given the name of ‘chi’ by ancient Chinese mystics. Some forms of healing using chi energy forces are Chi Gong, Pranic Healing, Chelation (as taught by Brabara Brennan and Rosalyn Bruyere), and Polarity Balancing. All (apparently) use the same energies, with the difference being in the techniques of application.
A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person – the body, emotions, mind and spirit – creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and wellbeing. Many have reported miraculous results.

Reiki is this love which allows us to transcend our wounds and helps us remember our true nature

An amazingly simple technique to learn, the ability to use reiki is not taught in the usual sense, but is transferred to the student during a reiki class. This ability is passed on during an ‘attunement’ given by a reiki master and allows the student to tap into an unlimited supply of ‘life force energy’ to improve health and enhance the quality of life.
Its use is not dependent on one’s intellectual capacity or spiritual development and therefore is available to everyone. It has been successfully taught to thousands of people of all ages and backgrounds.
While reiki is spiritual in nature, it is not a religion. It has no dogma, and there is nothing you must believe in order to learn and use reiki. In fact, reiki is not dependent on belief at all and will work whether you believe in it or not. Because reiki comes from god, many people find that using reiki puts them in greater touch with the experience of their religion rather than having only an intellectual concept of it.
But one issue has to be addressed seriously: many people have used this humanitarian service as a business. You cannot be a true reiki practioner if you have worldly or ulterior motives for its practice, or where the patient is not your friend but a client who will fill your coffers. Compassion, universal brotherhood and selfless love should be the basis of your practice. While reiki is not a religion, it is still important to live and act in a way that promotes harmony with others. Dr. Mikao Usui, the founder of the reiki system of natural healing, recommended that in order to promote peace and harmony, one practice certain simple ethical ideals which are universal across all cultures.
Energy is present everywhere and the teacher helps the student to tap into his or her reservoir of energy. Energy is in abundance and present everywhere, the healer just becomes a channel through whom the energy or force flows to the patient. I’m reluctant to definitively say that reiki uses chi, because I am not an expert on what the Chinese mean by this word. To me the force referred to by the name of chi is the same as prana, orgone or odic – they are all names for the same force.
As the word reiki means ‘universal life force energy’, it, strictly speaking, refers to the energy and not to the specific techniques taught by reiki masters. The techniques are more properly called the ‘Usui System of Natural Healing’ after the founder of the system, Dr. Mikao Usui. However, as reiki is the common name, and a fine name at that, this is the name we will use here.
A reiki healing is performed very simply. The practitioner places his or her hands upon the person to be healed with the intent of healing to occur, and then the energy begins to flow. The reiki energy is smart since the ‘universe’ is a very smart place indeed. The energy knows where to go and what to do once it gets there, or else is being directed by a higher intelligence. The energy manages its own flow to and within the recipient. It draws through the healer exactly the amount of energy which the recipient needs. All this happens without direct conscious intervention by the healer. The healers job is to get out of the way, to keep the healing space open and to watch and listen for signs of what to do next.

Reiki’s Capabilities

Reiki is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use. It has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and malady and always has a beneficial effect. It also works in conjunction with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and to promote recovery

Reiki is capable of healing anything because it works at the fundamental levels of reality. Even though the capability is there, this is not what always happens. The limits to reiki seem to be in the recipients willingness to cast off old habits and patterns, to accept change and to accept healing. The level of reality where reiki operates is the underlying energy structure of matter, as the physical matter we see around us is a solidified form of energy. Remember Einsteins famous equation which says that each unit of mass is equivalent to a certain amount of energy? At the level where reiki functions, anything can be changed because all is fluid-like and very malleable. Or so is the theory and the experience of reiki practitioners. Emotional problems are just as healable as physical ones, as emotional issues are even more directly present in the energy structures.
In this context, the word ‘healing’ has a somewhat different meaning from the widely accepted one. The widely accepted meaning for healing seems to be a curing of symptoms, for that seems to be what medical doctors and the like seek to do in their practice. The other meaning of healing, used in the practice of reiki, as well as other related systems, is the return to greater wholeness.There is an ideal form each of us has; this ideal form being the highest and clearest expression of who we are. Pain or disease comes from any deviation of the persons current form in the three dimensional physical world from his ideal form. Healing then, is to bring the physical form in closer alignment with the ideal form.

The way we deviate from our ideal form is by accepting limitations in our life. Most of this comes from early childhood, because that is the phase of life where we are the most open and inquisitive about life. A limitation may be a parent yelling “BE QUIET!!” so often that the child learns to not speak. Another limitation may be a limp that continues long after the physical injury has healed, maybe even with phantom pain. These limitations are behavior patterns, eating patterns, physical limitations, imagined physical limitations, psychological, mental or emotional ways of being, living, expressing or loving that are not in alignment with our personal highest expression.
In any healing, the goal is to find the limitation, recognize the pattern, recognize where it came from and then to let it go. Reiki accomplishes this by providing the recipient with enough to step above (metaphorically), to see all that, and to have the courage to let go. Usually this does not happen consciously as a result of reiki, but sometimes it happens that reiki gives the recipient the conscious awareness of the pattern and recognition of where it came from. Our lives are a constant flow of patterns of activity (like the pattern used to accomplish eating breakfast) and it is our choice to have these patterns remain stuck in limited expression or to release the old patterns and try new and shinier ones.
Reiki is also a gateway, shining pure love into the universe. It is this love which allows us to transcend our wounds and helps us remember our true nature. My vision is to have everybody in the world know reiki and use it in their lives. This is not a utopian vision that instantly creates a world of complete harmony and total peace. Yet having reiki allows greater peace and harmony to flow. Over time, the healing of the worlds ills will be accomplished, and with reiki in the hands of everyone, that day will come more quickly.
Reiki is a wonderful gift which can be shared by all.
In this vision, each new teacher of reiki increases the rate at which reiki spreads. The growth is exponential, as more people teach and spread this gift. It is like a flame being passed on from person to person, lighting a light within each person it touches – like lighting a candle does not diminish the flame, rather there is more light.