Who are you? What are you? Where are you?

There is a story in the Upanishads of ten students who studied together in a gurukul. One day all of them went to attend a function in a neighbouring village. They had to cross a river which was in spate. They held hands and cautiously waded through the powerful current of the water till they crossed over safely. The leader of the group said, “Let me check if all of us have reached the shore safely. God forbid that anyone has been washed away in the current.” Everyone lined up and the leader starting counting: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine – the line finished at the ninth man! They were all shocked. Where was the tenth man?  Another student offered to re-check and he changed positions with the leader; he too counted in same manner and again the count ended with the ninth man!
Now the finding was confirmed; tragedy had struck! The tenth man was missing. They started crying, all of them grief-stricken. A wise man was passing that way. Taking pity on them he asked what the problem was. Sobbing uncontrollably they narrated the whole story. The wise man immediately understood the problem! First he assured them that they had no cause for worry as he knew where the missing tenth man was. But they would have to pay him for the help he offered. Encouraged by his words, they all agreed and took solace in the words of the wise man.
So this wise man made them stand in a line and asked the leader to count each one. The leader did as instructed and again the count came to nine. The wise man slapped the leader and said, “And you are the tenth man.” Everyone was ecstatic and all of them started dancing and singing, thanking the wise man for having solved their problem.
This is a story from the Upanishads. Through such simple stories seers explained great philosophical truths. Every one is looking for the truth, for god, as though god is lost somewhere. But no one realizes that the one who is searching for truth doesn’t know who he himself is.
In creation, starting from one’s own body, a gross physical entity, (individual and cosmic total) is objectified. If the gross and subtle entities are effects then the entity which brought them into being, (individual and cosmic total) is objectified as the personal as well as the total ego entity. In short, the gross, subtle and causal entities are objectified.
These gross, subtle and causal entities are objectified very clearly in the waking state, are vague in the dream state and completely resolved in the deep sleep state. So there are three distinct entities, each of them objectified in three states of experience. What is objectified must be different from the subject. Just like in the Upanishad story, the ’self’ is apparently missing, but all the above mentioned nine entities are counted by the ’self’ itself.
The ’self’ is the subject and distinct from the above mentioned nine entities. But it is seldom realized as the one which counts the other nine entities. Thus this story establishes the existence of the ’self’. The analogy in the Upanishad story must be used only to the point of establishing the existence of the ’self’. Every example should be taken only up to the limit it is meant to be taken to. The ’self’ cannot be grouped with the gross, subtle and causal entities of waking, dreaming and deep sleep states, as it was done for the ten students mentioned in the story.

Every one is looking for the truth, for god, as though god is lost somewhere. But no one realizes that the one who is searching for truth doesn’t know who he himself is.
The study of the ’self’ is not just a study by itself, but an exploration of the ’self’. We are focused on the body and senses, and even more focused on the objects of the senses, i.e sound, sight, smell and taste. Our senses are exposed to all the five objects and the mind is in an ever non-gratifying mode; it asks for more and more – the hunger of the mind is insatiable. The mind can eat all it pleases and have sex with all the men and women of the world, yet it will crave more. Our whole journey is towards the outside world. Your involvement is with everything; the identification with the mind is so great that it is not even as though we have just attached our self with the mind, but as though we have become the mind itself. So the important question that arises is: Who is the one who is behind the mind and beyond the mind?
We know about the mind and its hunger. We count the titillations and the material achievements, but what about the one who is a silent witness to all the flimsiness, the wanderings of the mind, the ego trips and the physical sensations? We never ever wonder about the one who is the master of the body, the senses, the mind and the intellect. The self which we have created is a false self. The route to this false self too is via the mind. This Upanishad story provokes you to seek the real self – the universal self, in its nakedness, stripped of the body, senses, emotions, thoughts and perceptions. Who are you? What are you? Where are you?

Knowledge is that which stays with you in life; information stays in the head alone and it has no link with the life you are living.
You have lost your real identity and taken the false self to be the real ’self’. If the body is the ’self’, then where were you when there was no body? Were you there or not? Were you there or not when the mind did not exist? Were you there or not? Who are ‘you’?

Know who you are, not through the head but through experience. Know who you are and that you cannot objectify your self.
Knowledge is true knowledge only when you are focused on searching for the real ’self’. Is the ’self’ an amalgam of emotions, senses, thoughts and perceptions alone, or is the ’self’ more than this. Is ‘I’ limited by space, time and object, or is the real ’self’ way beyond this; is it omniscient and all pervasive? If yes, then is ‘I’ a part of god or is god my own name – a bit different and exotic!
Knowledge cannot be gained from external sources like books and scriptures. Gurus can provide you with only information, and information is not at par with knowledge. Real knowledge is experiential and not abstract.
I once heard of a vedantist who fell sick; he was in tremendous pain. His brother disciple came to meet him. Seeing him writhing and shrieking in pain he said, “O brother, the pain is in your body, and you are a brahman. So why are you cursing everyone? Be calm and witness the whole drama.” The vedantist shouted the choicest of abuses and said, “To hell with brahman, I will break your head if you dare lecture me again. I am dying with pain and you are lecturing me.”
Knowledge is that which stays with you in life; information stays in the head alone and it has no link with the life you are living. Know who you are, not through the head but through experience. Know who you are and that you cannot objectify your self. Keep on peeling off the layers around you – the truth which you seek is you – not in you, but you. You are the truth!