“Your Child is a Winner, as long as he learns and celebrates his failures. “

It is the parents who define the word ’success’ to their child, through their reaction. How you respond to your child’s attempts in any task will define the word ’success’ for him and eventually determine the spirit with which he will lead the rest of his life. If you consider losing in a contest a failure and not a learning ground, then your child is surely going to measure his success in terms of losing and winning. And this is what mostly parents do. Instead of celebrating the attempt of the child, they focus entirely on the outcome. What could be an opportunity to encourage and make the child learn from his mistakes, becomes a session of criticism and disappointment.
Such an attitude of parents disturbs a child’s balance. He may develop a fear of failure and may refuse to participate or he may become over ambitious and may not be able to take failures in his stride. Whichever way, this will breed negative feelings .The child will either suffer due to low self esteem or due to inflated ego leading to envy and anger towards people performing better than him.

Success is not about winning, it is all about enjoying and growing with each experience.

So encourage your child to participate regardless of winning or losing. Appreciate his efforts and celebrate the occasion. This will teach him that it is more important to participate than to just win. Help him analyze his shortcomings and improve upon them. This will help him to enjoy whatever he does without undue pressure.
It is important to give your child the courage to accept defeat. Don’t ever tell your child that the judgment was unfair or biased. He’ll always play the blame game. And worst still, he’ll never be able to see his own weaknesses and thus never overcome them.
Be a confidence booster for him. Parent’s reaction can either make or break a child’s confidence. Your encouragement at each step to participate, without the fear of outcome, will eventually help your child discover his hidden qualities, make him confident and infuse in him the zeal to explore and try new things. Thus, widening his horizons and opening a world of possibilities for him.
And why do we forget that each child is unique. Where one child excels in class, the other may be a leader in field. So, don’t expect your child to succeed in every task. This will create undue pressure on him, thus marring his natural abilities.
So next time, if your child loses in a tournament, don’t think why he didn’t win. See how he has tried and look at all the matches he’ll play in the future. Your expression of disappointment or your criticism will certainly not help him win his next match. On the other, a pat on his back would definitely give him the confidence to make an attempt and do his parents proud.

Parenting Tip: Encourage your child to participate, regardless of winning or losing. It’s not the ’spirit to win’ but the ‘spirit to participate, enjoy and grow’ with each experience that’ll make your child successful in life.